


Holding out for a Hero

by Zeckarin



Series: And they were roomates... (but there were two beds) [8]
Category: Good Omens (TV), Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett
Genre: Angry Aziraphale (Good Omens), Angry Crowley (Good Omens), Angst and Humor, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, Aromantic Aziraphale (Good Omens), Aromantic Crowley (Good Omens), Asexual Aziraphale/Crowley (Good Omens), BAMF Adam Young (Good Omens), BAMF Aziraphale (Good Omens), BAMF Crowley (Good Omens), BAMF Dog, Domestic Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Humor, Gen, How is this not a tag?, Humor, Hurt Aziraphale (Good Omens), Hurt/Comfort, Possessive Crowley, Protective Aziraphale (Good Omens), Protective Crowley, Queerplatonic Aziraphale/Crowley (Good Omens), Snake Crowley (Good Omens)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-23
Updated: 2019-12-08
Packaged: 2021-02-26 01:28:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 10
Words: 20,176
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21535234
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Zeckarin/pseuds/Zeckarin
Summary: Something dreadful is threatening Humanity. Heaven tries to recruit a certain angel to fight for earth...
Relationships: Aziraphale & Crowley & Adam Young (Good Omens), Aziraphale & Crowley (Good Omens)
Series: And they were roomates... (but there were two beds) [8]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1523585
Comments: 117
Kudos: 198
Collections: Hurt Aziraphale, My faves - Good Omens Whump





	1. The Mouse and the Book

**Author's Note:**

> This is very exciting and frightening... I am trying to write a real story with a serious plot.  
> I really really hope I won't let you down, guys !

Aziraphale opened the shop that morning without any reason. It was not an opening day. He really didn’t know why he’d done it. Later, he would feel guilty about it.

But on that particular moment, he was not aware of what the future held. He was happy. Content. Last night bottles of wine had been excellent. He could open the bookshop for half a day. He even felt generous enough to let someone actually _buy_ a book.

After months of silence from Heaven, Aziraphale had received a missive that was clearly containing instructions for a _job_. He knew it wasn't from any of the angels that had bullied him. They were all currently living humans lives, and will be for five years, as a punishment from God herself for trying to kill a fellow angel with Hellfire. But even if the new archangel in charge was one that always had been decent to him, Aziraphale didn't intend to take orders from anyone any more.

The look on Crowley’s face when Aziraphale had shreded the envelope and disolved it in tiny particles without even opening it was very satisfying, thought the angel for the fourth time that day. He felt invincible. Not rebellious, no. Of course he wasn’t feeling rebellious. That would be an awful feeling for an angel.

They had celebrated that act of bravery for the most part of the night. He was now officialy retired as an angel from Heaven. The drinking had only ended at dawn. Aziraphale didn't care for sleep, but he knew his friend wouldn't get up for a few more hours. So he decided to open the shop.

The angel was reading at his desk when he felt a light scratching on his foot. Algernon was there, looking up at him. The tiny, fluffy white mouse had lived in the bookshop since the beginning, and his longevity was a source of friendly banter between the angel and the demon, Crowly moking Aziraphale for miracling his “pet” young again every year, the angel denying it entirely in bad faith. He loved his little friend very much (and Crowley, who never liked to share his angel with anyone, didn't like the little rodent at all).

Aziraphale smiled fondly, and took the mouse in his hand to kiss the soft white ears.

“Hello, my dear. How are you today ? Haven’t seen you this week. Were you travelling ?”

Algernon wriggled his nose and gripped the angel's thumb between two tiny paws. He looked intent on keeping secrets. The angel chuckled.

“I bet you would love some good cheese, wouldn’t you ? I have bought a delicious French camembert. Crowley says it stinks. That demon knows nothing about cheese…

Algernon agreed. The demon was stupid.

“Don’t move, my friend. I will be right back. And then I will read to you the next chapter of my book. It is very awful, I am afraid. You will love it.”

Aziraphale delicately placed Algernon on the desk before heading towards the stairs. He made a little detour to look in the back room. Crowley was still sleeping, and didn’t seem about to wake up for a while. No need to prepare his coffee yet.

Humming happily, the angel disappeared up the stairs, wondering vaguely if he wanted another cup of tea.

The tea and cheese took him six minutes.

A lot of things can happen in six minutes. For instance, a doorbell can ring. A demon can open one eye and decide to go back to sleep. An angel can not hear the bell over the sound of the boiling kettle.

A mouse can try to escape.

But sometimes, even a 350 years old mouse isn’t fast enough to avoid danger. Or maybe such a longevity can confer a false sense of immunity.

A lot of little things can lead to a dreadful outcome.

Algernon was a mouse, and he was also something else entirely. Too many miracles have an influence on things, and living creatures are no exceptions. The more you miracled something, the more you are connected to it. The more you _feel_ it.

Aziraphale dropped his cup with a broken cry. Crowley woke up brusquely at the sound, dread the only thing in his mind.

It took him two seconds to reach the door to the backroom, but he could as well have taken a week.

Aziraphale was kneeling near the desk, traces of a teleporting miracle vanishing around him. A man was heading towards the door, and something was very, very wrong.

Crowley knew Aziraphale better than himself. He was used to his every emotions. And never had he felt _that_ kind of feeling Not in 6000 years. Oh, the angel had felt wretched before. Had wanted to die, to kill, to curl up in a ball and sob for weeks. All that, Crowley had felt it one day or the other in his friend (usually thanks to HER actions).

But this was the first time Aziraphale was feeling such a personal pain. He had suffered for humanity, he had cried for them, and even for Crowley. But never before had the demon seen his angel cry for _himself_. Aziraphale was the most selfless creature that had ever existed. He always, always put others before himself (and there were always others to think of).

The demon looked at his friend, hunched over something he was holding in his hands. And he brusquely understood.

It took him a few seconds, his thoughts running blank for a while.

The doorbell shook him out of his state. The stranger was heading out. In a blink, Crowley reached the door and grabbed his collar, hurling him back inside. The man bashed his head on a stool and groaned, trying to get up. Crowley didn’t allowed him any time to do it. He grabbed him again, by the throat this time. Never had the demon felt such anger, such hatred. His eyes were huge and completely yellow, and the man whimpered as he saw them.

“One thing. He had _ONE THING_ , and you had to take it from him ! He gave up _everything_ for your stupid kind, and that’s how you thank him ? How _DARE_ you ?” He punctuated every sentence with a violent push, glad for every time the man's head hit the the wall behind him.

And the human was looking at him in fear, struggling against his grip, not even trying to listen… Crowley could read his mind as clearly as his own. He did it on purpose. He'd been _paid_ to do it. Paid to kill a fucking _mouse_ ! A freackin' human had put a _contract_ on a mouse just because Aziraphale refused to sell her a _book_. Crowley was definitely going to pay her a visit...

And oh... he did it with a _book_. He crushed the angel's mouse friend with a bloody **book**. Using one of Aziraphale's beloved possession to kill his beloved pet. That man was a _monster_. And now he was facing the consequences of his actions, and didn't care one bit. he just wanted to escape, to save his skin. Crowley knew great deal about selfpreservation. he invented it. But he would not feel sorry for that human. He shook him violently.

“It’s gonna hurt so much you'll want to die a hundred times before I’m finished with you !”

The man let out a moan. Crowley bared his fangs and raised his hand, ready to strike…

“Crowley. Don’t.”

The hand stilled. That was Aziraphale’s voice. A calm, toneless voice.

“Angel” Growled Crowley, still pinning the human with his grip and stare. “He did it.”

He heard Aziraphale getting up slowly.

“I know. Let him go. Please.”

Crowley let go. He really, really didn’t want to, but he would take care of that later. The man ran, the bell rang.

_Run, little human. I know where you live. I know who sent you. I know who you are, you fucker. You’ll never run fast enough._

Aziraphale put the little white ball onto his desk and stroke it with trembling fingers. The demon stepped beside him and eyed him cautiously.

“Maybe you could… you know ?”

The angel shook his head.

“No, I can not. Too many miracles. He was almost holy after all these years. Reviving him would be… it would not be a little one. It would...”

Oh yeah. 350 little miracles to keep his pet mouse alive. It would take a huge one to revive that much Grace. But still, why not try ?

Because, realised Crowley, it would be a selfish monstrous miracle. Aziraphale felt guilty for every little one he ever did for his personal comfort. And reviving Algernon would be huge. And it would only serve himself.

Flames, Heaven was so good at guilt. The demon looked at the tiny heap of fur and squeezed his mouth shut. Do not talk. Not the right time to talk. Stupid angel. Stupid mouse. Stupid humans to make the angel feel like that.

Okay. Right. Perfect. Didn’t have a choice, did he ?

He took the body in his hands, huffing inwardly. Really ? Really ? Using his demonic powers for _that_ little sucker ?

“Crowley ! What are you doing ? Stop that !”

“Oh, shut up !”

“Crowley, it’s not right ! You can’t do this, stop right now !”

Crowley reached out of his corporation to enter that of the mouse. He’d done it before, he knew what to do. He’d thought it would take a lot of magic. But he wasn’t expecting _that_. Holiness was so strong it stung, and he yelped at the burning, trying to back out only to find more Grace, all around him He couldn’t see his way out anymore. He was trapped. Holiness was closing in on him and he started to feel his essence ache and _boil_...

Aziraphale’s spirit shoved him hard, sending him back in his human body. Both stared at each other, breathless. Crowley slowly deposited Algernon’s corpse on the desk again.

“Shit, Aziraphale ! How many times did you miracled him ?”

“I… don’t know.”

Crowley stared at the ball of fur in disbelief.

“Shit !” he said again, because really, there was nothing else he could think of. “That’s… that’s sick, angel ! You’re completely insane !”

Aziraphale didn’t answer. He only closed his eyes, looking tired and grey. _Oh, good. Way to cheer him up, Crowley. Well done !_

But honestly, that level of blessing on one living being ? He had never seen that. It was disturbing. And very sad. The angel had blessed that stupid mouse a _LOT_. He’d wanted so much to have him protected and happy that it was just impossible to bring him back now. That was exactly God’s sense of humour. She was probably laughing right now.

“Listen, Aziraphale… it’s… maybe we can do something ? Both of us ? If we join our...”

The angel’s eyes snapped open.

“No ! It is way too dangerous for you, Crowley ! Out of the question ! ”

The demon yielded. Honestly, he didn’t think it was even possible with both of their powers. Aziraphale looked at his hands for a few seconds, thinking hard. He still had an option, he realised. There was someone that could revive Algernon without much efforts. And it wouldn't be selfish if he paid for it...

“I have to make a call. Maybe you should get out for a while.”

“I’m not going anywhere.” answered Crowley automatically.

“It’s an archangel, Crowley. You can’t stay here, it’s dangerous.”

Crowley shook his head stubbornly. He already knew what was going on, and there was not a chance in Heaven that he would leave Aziraphale now.

“You’re gonna do it, isn’t it ? Gonna get back to them ? For a bloody _mouse_ ?”

“Yes” answered the angel calmly. “I know this is stupid, but...”

“T’s not. It’s not stupid. Just. Don’t ask me to leave, cause I won’t. That’s it.”

Crowley wasn’t one for expressing _feelings_. He hated to have to do it. He stared at his feet, and felt the angel smile that ridiculous fond smile. _Stupid_ _angel_.

“All right, my dear. Let’s do it together, then. Maybe… maybe you could stay behind me, at least for now ?”

Well, Crowley wanted to be brave, but alive was always a bonus. He slid to the left, standing just behind his friend. Who closed his eyes and started to pray.

A golden light, the familiar _sound_ of angelic incoming… and there she was.

Short, frail, skinny as always, remarked the demon. She looked around her before focussing on the angel, ignoring the demonic entity standing right behind him.

“Greetings, Aziraphale.”

The angel smiled. A little, sad smile, that resembled a defeat.

“Hello, Raphael.”


	2. The Beasts and the Target

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Raphael has bad news for our boys. Aziraphale takes a rather drastic decision.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So much angst in here !  
> Hope you'll like it !

The archangel hadn't changed one bit since last time Crowley saw her. She was still owning the corporation of a dark haired Indian girl, with almost golden skin, a small mouth and huge, soulful dark eyes. It fitted her nicely. Not like Michael, who should have taken the appearance of a harpy to truly reflect her essence.

Raphael tilted her head, frowning in confusion, looking at Aziraphale.

“Why did you call me ? Couldn't you come ? I promised you will be free to enter and leave Heaven as you wish in my letter. Do you not trust me ?”

“Oh. The letter. Right. I... didn't read it.” Aziraphale looked a little sheepish.

Raphael frowned again.

“I don't understand. Why did you call me if not for the letter ? I thought you wanted to discuss it.”

Aziraphale put his “business” face on.

“Yes, I want to, now. I need your help. I will do whatever job you need to be done here in exchange. I will work as Heaven's liaison angel again if you want it.”

 _Oh, Satan,_ thought Crowley. The angel had no skill at bargaining AT ALL.

Raphael was clearly very surprised. She even looked a bit disappointed. That was strange. The demon squinted his eyes. Something was off. He decided to let Aziraphale speak, though. His last conversation with Raphael had not ended well. It had been a one sided smiting, and he’d been lucky Aziraphale had stepped in to save his skin.

“You are asking for a favour ?” Asked Raphael “In exchange for your help ?”

“Yes, I am” answered Aziraphale sternly.

She shook her head, her long braid swinging like a serpent.

“I can not accept that. No other angel agreed to do it when I asked for a volunteer. It is too dangerous a mission for me to force it on you... I will find another way. Good day, Aziraphale.”

Crowley gritted his teeth. Had it been anyone else, he would have thought of manipulation. This was exactly the kind of things you had to say to push the angel to do your biddings (didn't _he_ knew that. He used it _a lot_...).

But even if Raphael was often a royal pain, she was not manipulative. Crowley saw her eyes fall on the desk, taking in the little white ball of fur, and suddenly widen.

“What... what is... oh, you poor little thing !”

 _Here we go_. Crowley couldn’t help but smile at the dismay written all over the archangel’s face. He’d seen _that_ coming. She was even worse than Aziraphale when it came to compassion. _And_ she was the only angel he knew that truly appreciated Aziraphale and his work on earth. He kind of liked her. Aside from the angel and himself, she was the only immortal entity to actually see humans as something else than pawns in a sick game. It was a shame, really, that she hated him that much since 14th century. But it couldn’t be avoided.

Raphael all but pounced and took the tiny corpse in her hands, looking at it with such tenderness that Crowley huffed and turned his eyes away. _Disgusting_.

The Archangel closed her eyes, then opened them again and crouched to put a squirming Algernon on the floor. She looked up at Aziraphale.

“This is a strange one. What did you do to it ? I felt miracles.”

The angel didn't even listen, kneeling with tears in his eyes to pet his little friend who seemed very satisfied, and talking to him in a trembling voice.

“Algernon... oh, my dear, poor Algernon. I was so worried !”

Alright, that was enough tears for a decade, decided Crowley, who didn't know what to do with his hands. Usually, when Aziraphale was upset, he had someone to punch.

“Great, he's back ! Don't let the door hit you on the way out, Raph. Bye !”

Algernon yawned and ran under a shelf, decided to take a little nap since cheese was obviously not coming his way. Aziraphale got up and shot a reproachful look at his friend before smiling gratefully at Raphael.

“Thank you so much. You have no idea what it means to me...”

“Don't thank me. It was sad to look at, I had to do something. Well, I shouldn't stay here, so I will go now.”

Aziraphale grabbed her arm.

“Wait. Tell me what was in the letter. What did you want me to do ?”

“You really didn't read it ?”

“I did not.”

Raphael smiled tightly.

“You truly walked away, then. With _that_ ” she added with a scathing look to Crowley, who waved at her, beaming.

“Do not insult Crowley, please. And tell me what was in that letter.”

“Oh, nothing important, really. Just mentioned that the three Beasts have escaped and are roaming Earth as we speak. No interesting news.”

Oh, yes. Crowley remembered now. He hadn't seen Raphael in centuries but she was very good at sarcasm when angry.

He spluttered as her words hit him. Aziraphale _gasped_.

“The _beasts_ ? The three of them ? How ?”

Oh, but they knew how. Armageddon had failed only months before. And the beasts were supposed to escape for Judgement Day. Leviathan, Behemoth and Renanin were dangerous enough to have been relegated to their own world, away from Heaven, Hell and Earth’s plan of existence , since the first humans had left Eden. And now they were here. That was _not_ good news.

“They've been here for all this time ! How many humans did they kill ? Why didn't you say it _sooner,_ Raphael ?” asked Aziraphale.

The archangel blinked in confusion.

“Really ? You are blaming me ? You are the one not reading his mail ! They only got out yesterday, in Earth's time. The frontier was weakened, but not enough to let them through. They didn't kill for now, but they will very soon, once they'd destroyed their target. You have to stop them before Humanity is endangered. You are the Principality of Earth, it is your duty. Or did you walk away from _that_ too ?”

Crowley set his jaw. Aziraphale, against the three Great Beasts ? No fucking way !

“You can't ask that of him ! He can't do that alone !”

The Archangel turned to him in anger, but truly looked slightly guilty.

“I know it is a lot to ask. But there is no one else. I am not allowed to roam over Earth any more. And Aziraphale chose to protect Humanity.”

“I won't let him kill himself over a bloody mouse, you jackass !”

“What does any of this has to do with the mouse, demon ?”

“And why isn't Heaven acting on it ? Why did you have to ask for a volunteer ! You're head office, volunteers can be designated ! That's how it works ! That's what your fucking boss always did !”

“Do not insult the Lord !”

“Or what ? She'd make me _Fall_ ?”

“I will smite you, you foul creature !”

“No rush, just let the three fucking monsters take care of it. Since you don't seem to be ready to stop them yourself !”

“I can not walk upon Earth ! You know it ! It was your fault if She punished me !”

“You punished yourself, stupid, I never forced you to do it. And now you're useless. Gabriel is a jackass, but at least _he_ would have fought.”

Raphael gasped in outrage. Gabriel never had been her favourite colleague.

Aziraphale wasn't listening to the quarrel. Raphael's words were echoing in his mind. _Once they'd destroyed their target. Their target._

The Three were God's kings of beasts. Created to rule over Earth's creature, and to serve God. Only Her could tame them. Only Her could destroy them. They were wild, and dangerous, and they were Holy. _Their target…_

“Adam” murmured the angel, panic overcoming him rapidly. “Oh, God, they're after _Adam_ !”

“Whot ?” shot the demon, obviously taken by surprise.

“Yes” confirmed Raphael calmly. “They are hunting down the Antichrist. Of course.”

“Since yesterday ? They're after Adam since _yesterday_ ?” yelled Crowley.

“Oh, yes. That is why I sent the letter right away. Behemoth was the first to escape. Renanin was the second. They are both almost there. Tadfield, is it ? If they kill the spawn of Satan, then they will turn against humans next. We can not let that happen...”

* * *

The Archangel hadn't finished her sentence that both angel and demon had disappeared. She sighed.

She hoped Aziraphale would be cautious. She really liked him.

Crowley on the other end could rot in Hell, where he belong. She couldn’t care less after all he had done. She didn’t understand how Aziraphale could still befriend him.

“Oh” she murmured suddenly. “I forgot. He got away so quickly...”

She snapped her fingers and a sword appeared in her hand. She winced in disgust. _Weapons_.

Well… she was not allowed to walk upon Earth. God had been really strict about it last time. The bookshop was still considered Heaven, like an Embassy would, but appearing elsewhere on Earth...

She had to stay away from humanity for her own good, had said the Lord. But Aziraphale was not armed. He didn’t stand a chance without his sword.

She raised her eyes.

“I will just pop there and give it to him, and then I will get back to Heaven straight away. No detour. I swear.”

She waited. God did not answer. That had to be an approval.

With a shaky breath, Raphael focussed on Aziraphale's Grace. All right. It was in the middle of woods. There will probably not be a lot of humans. She could do it. Of course she could. She just had to tame her impulses for a few minutes. For the greater good.

_Please, don't get mad, Mother._

* * *

The Them were playing in the woods, and everything seemed fine. But something woke up in Adam’s mind. A warning. He stood up and turned around, raising a questioning brow as his two “uncles” appeared right in front of him. None of the other Them noticed it.

“Something is coming, Adam” announced Crowley without losing time. “You are in danger. So are your friends.”

Adam paled. Looked back at Pepper, Brian and Wensley. Aziraphale snapped his fingers and the three children disappeared.

“They’re safe, they’re home. Adam, we need to...”

A rush of power hit the three of them, and Crowley bared his fangs. Aziraphale didn’t move, only frowning. The dark haired archangel appeared in front of him.

“Raphael, what are you doing here ! You can’t be there, it’s Earth ! The bookshop is Heaven’s ground, but here...”

“I know. Do not fret, I asked God.”

The angel made a face, clearly not impressed.

“I can perfectly imagine how _that_ went. Did She answer you this time ?”

“Well, I am not Fallen, am I ?”

“This is not funny, Raphael.”

“Just shut up and take that. And don’t get killed.”

Raphael handed Aziraphale the sword and looked down at Adam.

“He looks human.”

“He IS human” retorted Crowley.

She tilted her head, ignoring the demon.

“Good work on saving the world, little one. Don’t get killed.”

Then she vanished again.

“Well, apparently _I_ can get killed. How kind.” mumbled the demon.

“Maybe you should tell her the truth, Crowley. She only hates you because you lied, after all” said Aziraphale distractingly, weighing his word and thinking hard.

“You lied too, angel !”

“Well I did it to protect you !”

“Hu… Uncle Z ? Uncle Crowley ? What’s going on ?”

Both entities stopped yelling at each other to look at the young Antichrist guiltily.

Aziraphale cleared his throat.

“Ha… yes, right. I am not sure how to put it exactly. Something is coming to kill you. But do not worry, we will not let them touch you.”

“Them ? Like, there are several something ?”

“Three, actually. But one of them only lives on water, you are safe from that one for now.”

“Oh, great. What about the two others ?” Adam was getting good at sarcasm. He obviously spent too much time with them, thought Crowley absently.

“They will be here shortly. And they are very powerful.”

Adam could sense Aziraphale gathering Grace quickly, tensed and determined. The young boy reached out around them, searching for the threat. He couldn’t feel anything.

“Uncle Z… there is nothing here.”

“They are purely Holy. You can not feel them as I do. They’re closing in.”

Crowley looked at his friend, wondering at the Grace building up in his left hand. He suddenly understood what Aziraphale was aiming for, and his heart skipped a beat. The angel looked at him. A silent exchange took place, then Aziraphale closed his eyes.

 _Damn_. Though the demon.

The angel waited, focused. The Beasts were not easy to spot. They were powerful but hard to notice.

There. Behemoth was first. Well, that was kind of a relief. Maybe he could hold _one_ of them long enough…

When he felt the beast closing in, he let his sword burst into flames and turned to Adam, reaching out. The boy didn’t recoil, trusting him. That was heartbreaking.

He touched the Antichrist forehead and let his Grace out, reaching for a tiny, hidden spot deep inside. Crowley and himself had spent hours helping Adam test the limits of his powers, learning to control them entirely. They both knew the boy’s weakness, where to strike to hit him to his core. They were the only ones able to do it, having both the knowledge and Adam’s trust.

The kid’s eyes widened in deep pain and betrayal.

“I am sorry” said the angel simply, binding almost all of Adam’s dark powers under his angelic seal and ripping the rest of it off.

The boy staggered back, whining, and collapsed on the ground. Dog, as surprised as his master, reacted too late, Crowley’s hand grabbing his collar to stop him from attacking.

“Now, Crowley” said the angel urgently.

The demon gathered Adam in his arms, let go of Dog, and ran. The Hellhound yelped and gave chase, suddenly understanding these two creatures were not to be trusted any more. The demon was stealing his Master ! The demon would _die_ !

Aziraphale didn’t watch them. He could feel the creature now, hurrying towards him. He held out the tiny part of the Antichrist’s essence he had stolen like a beacon.

“Come here” he mumbled, as fervently as a prayer. “Come here, it’s here !”

Running away, not using any of his powers for fear of being sensed, Crowley felt the Behemoth heading towards Aziraphale, not altering its course. Relief over-flooded him. It worked. The decoy worked !

He buried his dread deep down, focusing on the child that was struggling in his arms.

_Don’t think of the angel. Not now._

“Adam, don’t make a sound. Don’t talk at all. They’ll hear you. They are _hunting_ you. You understand ?”

The boy stopped his attempts to free himself and looked at him. Understanding slowly dawned. His head bobbed once. Dog stopped trying to bite Crowley’s calf. That was a relief. Hellhound bites were not funny bites.

“Good. Don’t worry. We’ll get out of this. Everything is gonna be fine, kid.”

 _Shit_. He’d never wanted to believe one of his own lies that much. Crowley kept running. It was easier now that Adam wasn’t fighting him. He felt the ground starting to shake under his feet. A terrifying noise reached his ears, and it came right from where they came. Adam buried his face in the demon's shirt, gripping his shoulder so hard it hurt.

Crowley kept running.

_Don’t think of the angel._


	3. The Bull and the Fruits

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Our angel is about to fight the first monster.  
> Our demon is searching a safe place for Adam.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was my first real fight scene !  
> I hope it will please you !

Aziraphale stood his ground as earth trembled under his feet.

It was coming, and it was not happy.

He closed his eyes, reminding himself of all he’d ever read about the primal land monster. It wasn’t really helpful, as he already knew most of it before the invention of scriptures.

“ _his bones are like bars of iron_ ”

Perfect. No aiming at its bones. Easy as pie. It just had bones _everywhere._

“ _His force is in the navel of his belly_ ”

Yes, one tiny spot to strike at. Right under the monster’s deadly legs. This was such an easy ride. He didn’t need a sword at all, truly, a child could defeat that little beast.

He looked at his flaming sword. It would be like attacking an elephant with a toothpick.

He gripped the handle of the weapon harder. Yes, he _needed_ it. He had a _plan_. It _had_ to work.

 _M_ _ake it work_.

Behemoth appeared. It was larger than Aziraphale recalled. It had been six thousand years after all… The beast looked like a very, very huge bull, crossed with a very, very huge elephant. And maybe an okapi. It was unique in more than one way. Clearly, God hadn’t be able to make her mind the day She created it, thought the angel guiltily.

He raised his sword, waving it like a flag before speaking in what he hoped was a calm, soothing voice.

“Hello, big boy. Remember me ?”

The monster stopped and let out a growl that shook the trees all around them. It looked at the sword, sniffed the air… growled again, scratching the earth with its hoof.

_It is about to charge…_

Well, it was high time to remember his fighting reflexes… he had to stop that beast, or Adam wouldn’t stand a chance.

The first charge was easy to avoid. Aziraphale was faster than he looked, and Behemoth was too big to have a precise aim. That is when things started to go awry. The monster seemed to ponder, then…

_Oh, here we go._

Aziraphale had hoped it wouldn’t cross the gigantic beast’s brain, but of course it would think of using its tail eventually. No way to avoid that, it was Behemoth’s greatest weapon and he was as accurate as a scorpion. In less than a second, Aziraphale was pinned down, a deadly sting at his chest, sharp as a scalpel, large as a door, its point piercing his right arm under the shoulder. His sword clattered on the floor but he didn’t let go of it. The angel’s thoughts were cold and burning at the same time.

_You can’t die now, you stupid arse ! Get up ! Stop him ! You have to stop him !_

Golden light started pouring out of the angel’s eyes as he summoned Grace directly from Heaven. At least Raphael had thought of getting him free access to it. He wouldn’t have to think about economy. Unfortunately, his corporation and his essence could only bear a certain amount of it at a time. He wasn’t more powerful than usual.

He gathered all the strength he had left, lacing it with Grace, preparing to strike. He would only have one try.

Behemoth growled in interest. It’s sting started slowly piercing the angel’s shoulder, and Aziraphale let him act distractingly. He could sacrifice an arm, and use all he’d got to…

he suddenly gasped in horror as he realised that inch by inch, the beast was heading _up_ to a precise point at the junction of his upper arm and his neck, aiming to…

_Fuck !_ Thought the angel, too late, way too late. Behemoth was aiming for the bit of Adam’s Grace he'd used as bait,  hidden precisely there . 

He laid his free hand on the monstrous tail, and pushed with all his might,  shouting in anger and pain with a voice that was not human any more,  his thoughts wild and  imperative.

_Get up ! Get up ! Don’t let him get it ! UP, AZIRAPHALE !_

The gigantic tail barely moved. Growling again, Behemoth destroyed the demonic energy hidden amidst the angel’s essence. Burning, intolerable pain invaded every inch of what made Aziraphale, and he wasn’t able to let out a sound anymore. His last coherent thought was that he had _failed_ , and despair accompanied him as everything went black.

* * *

Crowley heard the loud cry and stopped dead on track, hunching over his precious burden, eyes closed tightly. That was Aziraphale’s angelic voice. He was fighting, and he was losing, by the sound of it.

_Aziraphale, do something ! For the love of… do something !_

He should go on, he knew it. He should run, run without turning back. But he couldn’t help reaching out for his friend’s presence, feeling… pain. Awful pain, that ended brusquely, leaving _nothing_ behind.

In a second, his mind went blank, and his thoughts were clear as crystal.

He had to get Adam to safety first. He calmly looked around, considering his options, all his fears dissipating. He had nothing to be afraid of now.

Adam shook him, and he stared at him with cold, calculating eyes. His godson looked terrified. Maybe he should knock him off. It would be easier this way.

The kid was patting his own chest, looking at him intently. Crowley blinked and looked around again. This way looked easier to travel…

A hard slap on his shoulder made him look back at the child. He pointed at his chest again, then at his forehead, eyebrows frowned.

Crowley inhaled sharply. Adam was still _powerless_ … It could only mean one thing, and they both knew it.

Aziraphale’s seal was still there, binding Adam’s powers, hiding them. The angel was _alive._

Fuck safety, he couldn’t stay in the dark now. He snapped his fingers and created a sphere of silence around them.

“Do you feel anything ?”

“I… I’m not sure. I can’t use my powers anymore… but I think what uncle Aziraphale took had been destroyed. Kind of felt it.”

“Shit. They’ll scent you again, even if it’s faint.”

“What do we do now, uncle Crowley ? Can we help him ?”

The demon shook his head.

“Our priority is your safety. We can’t go back. We need a hiding spot, somewhere I could try to erase whatever power is still pouring out of you through Aziraphale’s seal. I wish I could take a little more of it to lead them away… but I can’t break an angelic binding, and it’s still buying us time anyway. Plus, I can’t leave you alone, not with three of them after you.”

Adam squared his shoulders bravely.

“I am not afraid. We can go back and help him. If he destroys the seal, I can fight too...”

“No! Kids don’t fight, Adam !” snapped Crowley “And you can’t just wish them not to be here like you did before with your father. There are purely Holy, you understand ? They’re stronger than you, and they’d aim at you and destroy you. My job is to keep you safe. Yours is to do exactly as I say, capish ?”

He looked around. wasn’t there some kind of cave near here ? The kids had brought them in last autumn.

“Come. Got an idea”

He took Adam’s hand and realised that it was shaking violently. He bit his lips, and looked closely at the kid. He hadn’t lied, he wasn’t afraid. He was downright terrified.

“Adam” started the demon, gently “It will be alright. I’ll protect you. I promise.”

“Will uncle Aziraphale die ?” asked the Antichrist in a tiny voice.

If Crowley didn’t already loved that child with all his heart, he would have at this instant.

He smiled with a confidence he was far from experiencing.

“The angel’s strong. And he’s stubborn. He is lame at fighting for himself, but nothing can beat him when he has someone to protect. He’ll be fine. He won’t let a thing kill him as long as you’re in danger.”

His smile transformed into the shadow of a grin as he added “And me, I’m good at running away and saving my skin. That’s my speciality. I am impossible to catch, and I’m cunning, and I have a sick mind. Nothing will get to you as long as we’re here. We promised, right ? Remember the airbase ? Still stands.”

The boy slowly breathed in, and nodded valiantly.

“Good. Now let’s go. Silently.”

* * *

Aziraphale gasped, opened his eyes and tried to stand up.

_Fight. Sword. Where is…_

A low growl made the ground shake under his hands. _Oh. Great._ Well, at least Behemoth was there and not after Crowley and Adam.

He slowly, slowly turned on his knees.

The beast’s monstrous muzzle was right in front of him. Its breath was  blowing like the wind.

“Hello, there” tried the angel.

A little huff answered him. He knew that huff very well. His hopes raising slightly, he extended his left arm and touched the  l arge jaw.

“How are you, my dear boy ? Long time no see, right ?”

It had to work. It  _had_ to. Six thousand years were a  _long_ time, but Behemoth was immortal, and immortality usually came with a good memory. Usually. 

The beast inhaled again. It knew this smell. It was  its White Friend. The one on the Wall, all that time ago. Behemoth didn’t like the Wall. It couldn’t eat the delicious food behind it. But its job was to stop Things from getting out of it. And the four white winged creatures were there to help him. He liked to terrify the white  winged  creatures.  He roared at them and pretended to charge and they yelled and took off every time. Except White Friend.

That one smiled and told it it was very scary. And he gave it fruits. It liked White Friend. It didn’t want to eat him.

Behemoth let out a n  affectionate noise. Aziraphale closed his eyes in relief.

“I am sorry, my dear. I have nothing to give you today. Maybe some summoned food..?”

The Beast growled. The angel couldn’t  resent it. Summoned food was  awful.

“Why don’t we try to send you back in your real world, hm ?”

Another growl, more intimidating. The angel got up on his feet, grimacing at the pain radiating through his right arm.

“No need to brood. You know perfectly well this is not your place. I am the guardian here, and you are menacing my domain. I should be the grumpy one.”

Behemoth  whimpered . He knew what it was to be on guard duty. He never wanted to  annoy his little friend.  There had been that smell he had to destroy…

“You did great. You helped me get rid of that foul thing. Good job. She will be very pleased !”

The Beast waged its tail, uprooting a dozen of trees in it’s joy. Aziraphale grimaced. The Them would have to rebuilt their lair entirely.

“How about letting me get you home ? What do you think ?”

Home was fun. Funnier than the Wall desert. And it loved to  hunt and run there. There was good food, and She came to play with it and its friends, sometimes. It wanted to go home now the foul smell was gone.

White Friend smiled and touched it again.

“Good boy. Now close your eyes.”

The  monster  obeyed calmly.

Aziraphale reached out, and delicately entered its mind, pulling down Heavenly Grace again, opening a passage and leading the willing creature towards it.

With a last, friendly growl, Behemoth disappeared.

Aziraphale took a deep breath and sighed heavily. He’d been very lucky on that one. He quickly healed his arm as best he could, still taking advantage of his unlimited access to Heaven’s powers as long as it lasted.

What he wanted more than everything was his chair, a blanket and a cup of tea. He felt so tired already that he didn’t even think he could focus enough to read.

He picked up his sword, and reached for Adam’s presence, concentrating really hard.

He could feel almost nothing. Only the tiniest pull. Excellent.

He found Crowley almost instantly. His demon knew the Beasts were not after him  and didn’t try to hide .  They were still together. That was good too.

Aziraphale started to run, telling his exhausted corporation to shut up. Opening a passage had been a very loud miracle.  Renanin wasn’t far away,  Raphael  had said.

She must have felt that outburst of energy, and she was certainly on her way. Renanin was the most deadly of the three, and she was not the friendly type. Aziraphale had never met her, and had hoped never to have to. That one will not go willingly. She would not stop before she’d found Adam, and could not be tricked. Her sense of smell was way better than that of Behemoth.

_This is going to hurt_ Thought the angel, running as fast as he could.  He could not take more of Adam’s powers with him. Not without danger for the child . It was a shame Behemot had destroyed his bait, but regrets were not helpful.

He reached the river, remembering vaguely being there before. Wasn’t there a cave of some sort ? He couldn’t remember the way, but followed Crowley’s essence. He was closing in, he could tell.

A bush was hiding the entry, and he made his way through it, without any heed for his clothes. He didn’t have time to see anything coming. Adam hit him hard, crushing against him wildly. He reached out and ran his fingers through wild locks of hair.

“There, there, my dear. Everything is fine. I am so very sorry I scared you.”

Adam shook his head against the angel’s waistcoat.

Aziraphale looked up, his eyes adapting to the dark. Crowley was there,  leaning casually against a wall.

“Welcome back, angel. You sure took your time.”

The Principality heard the tension in his friend’s voice and saw an untold relief in the familiar golden eyes. He smiled reassuringly.

“I felt the first one going. You did it ?” asked the demon with no short amount of awe.

“Of course I did. Did you doubt me ?” Teased the angel.

Crowley separated himself from the wall, hands in his pockets, and started slowly circling his friend, scanning him from head to toes as Adam walked silently away to let them some privacy.

“You hurt ?” he asked gruffly as he eyed the shredded, bloody sleeve.

“Nothing bad, really. I healed most of it.”

The demon didn’t listen and touched the angel’s shoulder. He grimaced.

“He got your essence too.”

“Well, yes… these things don’t just discorporate us, you know it. They’ve been made to destroy. But I am fine. It was a love bite, really.”

Crowley raised unimpressed eyebrows.

“Angel, you clearly never saw a love bite.”

Aziraphale huffed and looked at Adam who was sitting against a rock, looking alone and forlorn.

“Adam… dearest. Look at me.”

The antichrist looked up.

“I will destroy that seal as soon as we get rid of the two remaining beasts. I promise you. I’ll understand if don’t trust my word any more, but I...”

“What are you talking about, uncle Z ? I don’t care about the _seal_.”

Aziraphale blinked in confusion.

“You don’t ? But you looked… concerned.”

Adam made a face. Adults, really.

“Yeah, I’m _concerned_ , uncle Z. you almost die fighting that monster, and you tell me there’s two more. Excuse me if I feel _concerned_ about it.” his mask fell and he looked down at his hands “I just don’t want you to die for me. Either of you. That’s not right.”

Aziraphale stared at him, too tired and too touched to think of a proper answer.

“Oh, that is so very nice of you, my dear. I can assure you I will try my best not to die.”

Crowley huffed and rolled his eyes. Then stopped moving, holding his breath. His eyes looked huge and more serpentine than ever as he staggered back towards the bottom of the cave. Aziraphale stared at him and gripped the hilt of his sword harder.

Dog growled, and everyone started. The Hell-hound was watching the entry of the cave.

A loud flapping sound came to them, and shadow darkened the forest all around.

“She’s here” breathed the angel.


	4. The bird and the Cave

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The second monster is not the friendly type.  
> Aziraphale has to fight an ominous enemy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am sorry for what I am doing here.  
> Remember, happy ending will always prevail !

Crowley was experiencing the most terrifying feeling he’d ever felt since his Fall. Armageddon Had been scary, yeah, but _that_. That was something else. He felt sweat run along his spine and his skin starting to cover in scales…

He needed to hide. Turn into a snake and hide under the rocks.

_It’s going to kill you. It’s going to eat you._

He was dead. He was so very _dead_. That thing outside was the End of everything, he could feel it in his bones. There would be no way out for him.

 _What is happening to me ?_ He thought in horror. _What’s wrong with me ?_

“Crowley. Crowley, dear, you have to fight it. Fight, I beg you ! You can not transform here, she will feel it !”

_Angel._

“What is wrong, uncle Aziraphale ? Why is he like that ?”

That was Adam’s voice. Poor kid had been scared enough for a lifetime and it wasn’t over.

“Renanin is the primal air monster. She has an enmity towards snakes. She’s the image of death for them. If Crowley transforms now, the First of all Serpents, she will go feral. More than she already is.”

Aziraphale’s smell suddenly overwhelmed the demon, and he felt angelic warmth enveloping him, easing his desperate need to flee.

_Not good. Shouldn’t use miracles, will lead her here._

But it wasn’t a miracle, he realised as his thoughts cleared a little. That was just his angel’s natural heat. Aziraphale was wrapping his arms around him, pulling him close, and he buried his head in his friend’s neck like he did so often as a snake, letting the soothing mix of warmth and Grace ease the tremor of his body.

His blind panic subsided, and something even scarier replaced it. For a minute, the angel had been dead. He knew it wasn’t true, but to him Aziraphale had been dead nonetheless. He’d pushed it away, had locked that thought in a dark corner of his mind for later, but it was all trying to get out now, with the feeling of the angel alive and well and the sound of his heart beating.

_Don’t break down now, stupid. Not now._

“It’s alright, my dear. I’ve got you. Just calm down, and hold onto me. Take your time.” murmured the soothing voice of his friend.

_We haven’t got any time. Got to get a grip !_

Crowley slowly stepped back, swallowing his emotions and watching carefully the snake in him. The fear was still there, but he could control it. Adam was right next to him, looking up with concern, seeming to wonder if he needed to hug him too. So much for his “cool uncle” image.

Aziraphale tilted his head.

“Fine ?”

He smiled tightly, feeling ashamed and angry at himself.

“Fine. Sorry ‘bout the hysterics”

“Do not be ridiculous.”

The angel bent and grabbed his sword again.

“We will finish this, and get back home for a nice cup of cocoa.”

His words sounded more like a prayer than a declaration to the demon’s ears.

“Yeah. Good idea... Hey, angel, you don’t intend to fight that thing alone, right ? It’s… it’s angry, and it’s bloodthirsty. Let me help.”

That earned him a scathing glare.

“No. Adam needs to stay out of view, and you know I am not skilled at hiding. You can’t hurt it at all, and you’re a serpent, Crowley. That thing is the last creature you should try to attack. If anything happens, just run away, the two of you.”

_Something will happen ! Something will happen, angel, you don’t stand a fucking chance here !_

Crowley had never seen the three Beasts. He’d only heard about them, Aziraphale was the expert, with all his readings. But now he sensed that awful bird outside, he knew there was no way the angel would get out of that in one piece. It was already a miracle if he was still alive.

He was tired, and hurt, and looked like shit, but of course he would fight again. Stupid Principality and his stupid duty !

And of course Crowley would stay there and protect Adam and run away with him as soon as possible, because he was a stupid demon, and because Adam was Their Antichrist, and for once he understood completely Aziraphale’s readiness to die for humans. Well, one human at least.

“Yeah. All right.”

“What do you mean, ‘all right’ ?” yelled Adam. “It’s not all right ! I’m not all right with that !”

Aziraphale smiled to him and ruffled his hair (which was a thing he never did, and twice in five minutes was scaring Adam even more than a teary goodbye).

“You are very brave, Adam. But you are a child, and a human. It is our job to protect you, not the other way around.”

_Plus, added Crowley inwardly, you wouldn’t stand a freackin’ chance either, Antichrist or not. They’ve been made to destroy evil, and only divine can hurt them._

Where was God when she was needed ? These were HER pets ! She could at least whistle when they ran away !

The shadow outside darkened, and the flapping sound got louder.

“She is landing. Adam, stay inside the silence zone. You should be safe there, I do not think she can smell your exact location. I am going to see her.”

The flaming sword was the only source of light now. Darkness was everywhere. An awful, crushing noise resounded, and the three of them stumbled when the ground shook violently.

Aziraphale headed towards the entry to the cave without a glance behind, waiting to be outside to manifest his wings. Behemoth did not like wings, it always made him grumpy. But this monster could fly. Maybe he could outrun… outfly her. Lead her away. Maybe he was faster, who knew ? He looked around, and saw the shadows weakening all around him. The sun reappeared, and he suddenly saw why.

“Good… Lord”

Reading it and seeing it was two very different things.

 _Her wings are so huge that unfurled they darken the sun_.

Yes indeed.

Well. The wings were folded now. That should have been reassuring. It was not.

The Bird monster was looking like… a dragon, thought Aziraphale, who was very fond of Tolkien.

A dragon with the head of a wolf. All copper coloured, and claws like a cat.

Fantastic. Every claw was as large and sharp as Behemoth’s sting.

The angel considered coldly the giant, unbeatable creature he was heading to.

His usually smiling face looked strangely impassive.

Right. So he had to beat that thing. If not, it would kill Crowley, then Adam, then humanity.

Well he couldn’t have _that_.

He pulled Grace from Heaven again, trying to remember Renanin’s weakness, all the while knowing perfectly well that she had none. Her only weakened time was when she combusted to be born again… and it would not happen before 800 years, give or take… if he was not mistaken.

But maybe he could _make her_ combust.

The great bird looked at him, her eyes so thoughtful it was unsettling. Then, without a warning, she charged.

Aziraphale instantly knew two things. First, she could read his mind, and that was not good news.

Second, she was way faster than him.

He flew away, landing gracefully and striking at her side in the same movement. The golden body slithered rapidly, unscathed. She didn’t turn back to attack again, and rushed right in front of her towards the entry of the cave.

_She knows !_

In a blink, Aziraphale appeared in front of the monster with a defying cry. His eyes were pools of light and his left hand was raised, palm directed at the head of the beast.

From the entry of the cave, Crowley took in the scene and _pounced,_ pushing Adam to the floor, unfurling his wings to cover him…

The rush of divine Grace cut through reality, destroying all sounds and thoughts around.

Crowley shook his head, his ears ringing with silence. He blinked, trying to assess the damages.

He was still able to move. And his wings were almost intact. Adam was looking at him in confusion, a very unhappy Dog in his arms.

The demon spun around to see outside.

Aziraphale was still standing, and the Beast was shaking her head like a cat wearing a collar for the first time.

She looked more angry than hurt. The angel raised his hand again.

“Stop that, stupid, you can’t do it twice” growled the demon, crushing Adam under him again.

This time, when he rushed to look, Aziraphale was kneeling. The beast was clawing at her face, howling in anger. The angel stood up laboriously and raised his hand anew.

The monster growled and took a few steps backs, considering her options.

Crowley turned and took Adam’s hand.

“He is buying time. We have to run fast and as far as possible.”

“Can’t we teleport ? She can’t, right ?”

Crowley blinked.

“She can’t. But you’re her target and she would follow your smell. Right now you’re the thing that smells the more like you, but...”

“My parents. My house.”

“Right. We need to find a safe place”

“There is no safe place against _that_ , uncle Crowley !”

_I know ! Don’t you think I know ?_

Outside, Aziraphale raised his sword. Renanin seemed to have decided to get rid of him before attacking the cave again.

“Manifest him a shield, uncle Crowley !”

“A shield ? To do what ? Throw at her ? She can only be hurt by divine weapons, kid.” answered Crowley hopelessly.

“But he needs a shield !”

“He is the shield. That’s what Principality means. What he needs is GOD to do a fucking MIRACLE !” yelled the demon at the sky.

Aziraphale avoided the lashing of a paw large as a bus only to be struck by a second one half a second later. He crashed against a tree and tried to get up, but landed on his hands and knees, ichor flowing out of several wounds. His sword was nowhere to be seen.

“We have to run” repeated Crowley feebly, unable to look away. This was a lost battle, he knew it. Aziraphale knew it too. It was a matter of seconds. The demon’s hand tightened and sank into the wall of the cave, Crowley trying desperately to _turn away and grab the kid and run._

Adam looked at him angrily. Crowley was frantic. His other uncle was good as dead. Aziraphale obviously had not enough energy left to heal himself.

No way. He had not pushed away SATAN to watch that without lifting a finger. He was almost twelve, for crying out loud, that was practically adulthood.

Small and powerless, the Antichrist sprinted towards his angelic uncle.

Things happened very fast.

Renanin let out a victorious shriek and leapt.

Crowley appeared in front of her and turned in the most enormous snake Adam had ever seen.

Aziraphale shouted in despair from where he was lying.

The monster forgot about Adam’s existence, screeching ferociously, and lashed madly at the enemy in front of her.

Snakes are very fast, but so was the beast. Adam landed on his knees near the angel.

“Destroy the seal, Uncle Aziraphale !”

“Adam, run away ! Run !”

“No ! Destroy it now !”

“You cannot fight it. You have to get away.”

“You’re dying anyway, destroy it !”

Aziraphale tried to think through the dull ache that was fogging his mind. It was not such a bad idea. Adam needed to run, and he needed power to escape alone.

“Promise you will go.”

“I promise” answered the boy immediately.

A thrashing sound and a roar erupted behind them. Aziraphale couldn’t see clearly enough to understand what was happening. He only knew Crowley was still alive.

He raised his hand and touched Adam’s forehead.

“Run fast and far, my dear”

The seal broke.


	5. The Serpent and the Lightning

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> All hope seems lost... Renanin is about to destroy her opponents.  
> Can an eleven year old boy turn the tables ?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I LOVED writing that chapter ! I had it in my head for such a long time !  
> So happy !
> 
> Thanks to megzseattle, the best beta reader I know (what do you mean, you're the only one I know ?^^)  
> You're still the best :D

Had Aziraphale been a little more lucid, he would have know Adam had no intention to go anywhere.

But the angel was currently very weak and his usually bright mind was fading away.

So he sent his spell in Adam’s spirit, dissolving his binding, and the seal broke.

Adam didn’t lose time and immediately put his hands onto his uncle torso. The angel felt the rush of demonic healing, closing his wounds roughly.

 _We will have to work on gentleness_ , thought Aziraphale hazily.

“Adam... Adam, you shall...”

But the boy was already moving away, and it was not the good direction. At his side, Dog suddenly seemed larger. The growling and shrieking of the Beast and the hisses of the serpent were getting wilder by the second.

 _Oh, God almighty_ … thought the angel in despair. This was a nightmare.

“ **Leave him alone !** ” yelled the Antichrist with the voice of the Adversary. No need to see his face to know his eyes were glowing red. Aziraphale rolled on his side with a painful groan.

_That is probably what Crowley calls a shitty day._

“ **I told you to LEAVE HIM ALONE,** **you fucker** **!** ” Cried Adam. The forest fell brutally silent, and the universe seemed to hold its breath.

A branch snapped under Aziraphale’s foot as he awkwardly got up. Fighting lancing pain to get on his feet was quickly gaining places on his list of least favourite sensation as the day passed.

He looked at the black snake and the dragon-like bird, frozen in a wild dance. He looked at the boy, standing his ground like nothing could break him. He looked at the Hellhound, growing fast at his Master’s side.

Renanin blinked. Her prey was just there, right under her nose. But a serpent was there too… her worst enemy. And it was a Great Serpent. Probably the most dangerous of all !

She had to _destroy_ …

She howled and hurried towards the boy. The snake got on her way and attacked her. How dare he ! She bit at him angrily but he was already out of reach. She let out a frustrated cry, trying to catch him, missing him by an inch…

Aziraphale squinted his eyes. Anger was rising slowly inside him. This… was **enough** !

As a Principality, protecting Earth and getting rid of this thing was a priority.

As Aziraphale, there wasn’t much of a difference. Except for one tiny little detail : protecting humanity with his life was a fine and natural thing to do. Protecting it with others’s life was unacceptable. And when it came to Crowley and Adam’s lives, it was fucking out of the question.

So Renanin was getting wild and was losing her mind facing her two deadly enemies. Good. He could play that game too. Angelic composure had its limits. And this precise situation was just exceeding them.

He was very angry now. Angry at Crowley for not running away, angry at Adam for not listening to him, angry at that stupid Monster for not being able to see these two were not Evil at all, and angry at God for letting all this happen in the first place.

Crowley hissed and curled around one of the Beast’s legs, trying to bite her, his fangs sliding on the copper coloured scales.

Adam raised his head and let out a cry. Lightning fell on Renanin’s head, who howled again in rage. Dog barked and attacked a paw, grabbing it in his enormous jaw and shaking hard.

_Only Holiness can hurt her…_

Aziraphale suddenly understood how a mother could lift a car to save her child.

_These two are MINE, you giant goose ! **Don’t touch my family**!_

In a fluttering of wings, he rushed ahead, eyes ablaze with white fire. His sword appeared in his hand, flaming like crazy.

The monster felt his resolve and turned to him, baring her fangs. Crowley hit her at full speed, deflecting her blow and wrapping around her neck, coiling tightly in an attempt to strangle her. She clawed at him, trying to tear the black scales apart, earning only an angry hiss in answer as she almost attained him.

Adam’s lightning fell again, and again, sparing the serpent every time. The Antichrist was radiating so much power the ground cracked under his feet.

Renanin shrieked, biting and clawing around her without even aiming anymore, her rage blinding her.

Aziraphale avoided a giant paw, aimed, and stroke her neck just behind Crowley's tail, the sword finding its way between two large scales. Without listening to the monster’s sudden cry of pain, he stoke anew, with deadly precision. The neck was cut in half. The third strike ended it all.

For a few seconds, the giant body twisted madly, before sizzling.

“Crowley, get out of here !” warned the angel.

The demon appeared near him in a blink, and they watched with awe as the body started to crumble slowly into embers.

They both turned around at the same time.

“Adam, are you all right ?”

“You hurt, Adam ?”

The child smiled weakly, back to his usual bright blue eyes.

“I’m okay, really. She didn’t even touch me.”

The bird brusquely erupted in flames so hot they were blue and cinders started to fly away in a cloud.

“Isn’t it supposed to be a phoenix thing ?” Asked the demon casually, holding his left side that had taken a good beating against a tree.

“She was the last to be banished to the other world. She inspired a lot of legends.” responded Aziraphale unwillingly. He could not ignore a question about mythology. Crowley knew that. But there would not be any way to distract him from the scolding **someone** deserved.

The angel turned around, facing a decidedly subdued Antichrist. Adam was trying his best to look innocent and cute, but was avoiding eye contact and had his hands deep in his pockets.

Dog was trying to make himself inconspicuous, hiding behind his Master’s legs.

Aziraphale’s chest inflated, and everyone around him cringed.

“ADAM YOUNG !”

“Yes, uncle Aziraphale...”

“Your behaviour today has been outrageous ! OUTRAGEOUS, young man !”

“Sorry, uncle Aziraphale” answered Adam, trying to look sorry.

“If I ever hear that word in your mouth again, I swear to God I will be highly displeased. HIGHLY DISPLEASED, you hear me ?”

Adam looked up. Crowley turned away, hand on his mouth.

Aziraphale waited, hands firmly planted on his hips, eyebrows frowned. Adam decided to take the wisest path.

“Ha… yes, uncle Aziraphale. I won’t say it again.”

Crowley snorted. The angel turned to him.

“Oh, you shouldn’t laugh, you foul demon ! The boy has obviously learnt THAT at your contact ! You should be ashamed, Crowley !”

“I am ! I assure you I am, angel. So ashamed.”

Aziraphale didn’t seem to believe his tear-eyed demon. He sighed and closed his eyes. Crowley's grin faded instantly.

“Hey ! You okay ?”

“I am fine. What about you ? Did she touch you at all ?”

“Nope, too fast for her” grinned the demon. Aziraphale huffed. He didn’t think it funny. One split second action could have been disastrous. The monster was entirely Holy. He trembled to think of what would have happened had she reached Crowley.

“You have been very lucky” he said sternly.

“Luck of the devil, angel” crooned Crowley.

Aziraphale rolled his eyes.

“Well then, I think we shall all go back to the bookshop and try to rest with a good cup of cocoa while we discuss a strategy.”

Crowley looked at his friend and Godson.

“We look like sh… like we could use a cuppa.” he ended hastily.

The angel smiled placidly, nodded, and looked back at the place the giant bird had burned.

“Ah. Here it is. Give me just a minute, my dears.”

Right in the middle of the battlefield, a tiny, golden egg was shining.

Aziraphale made a small gesture, and uttered a word. The egg disappeared.

“Excellent. She will be back to her old self in no time. Well, what is the saying ?”

He looked at Crowley expectantly.

“Two down, one to go ?” Provided the demon.

“That’s the spirit !”


	6. The Angel and the Water

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Back to the bookshop for some serious brainstorming...  
> Or maybe, just back to the bookshop.  
> Aziraphale has something to confess.

The trio appearing in the bookshop looked ragged, filthy and exhausted. Adam pounced on the carpet in front of the fire and sighed dramatically, Dog curling against him with a contented groan.

Crowley did the exact same thing with his couch, sinking face first in the cushions, and Aziraphale miracled their clothes clean before heading to the stairs.

“N’gel… Don’t make cocoa. Sit, for the love of Satan. You can rest, ya know...” mumbled the cushions in Crowley's voice.

“I would be unable to rest at the moment, and I am dreaming of a nice cup of tea. I’ll bring back something for you two.”

“Stay heeeeere angel… I’ll do it.”

Aziraphale smiled affectionately, perfectly aware that Crowley had no desire to move from his precise spot for at least a day, but would get up this instant if he accepted his offer.

“Thank you my dear, but I enjoy doing it myself. It is very relaxing to watch the water boil.”

“You’re such a weirdo” was the muffled answer.

With a non-committal hum, the angel headed towards the kitchen. He prepared three mugs, and a little light (in his opinion) snack for everyone, and watched the water as it started to bubble.

Usually, he just let his mind wander, thinking of past joys, of future marvels, of humanity’s wonders… not today. Today, only one thing came to him. That moment right before Adam saved him. It's like living it all again.

He is lost, he is dying, he is fading away, and his only thought is one of despair.

He could have died. He was certain to die. To be destroyed. Such a wretched, wretched feeling.

The water boils, and it is mesmerizing.

 _So many regrets_.

“What’s up, angel ? You’ve been here half an…”

The demon’s voice stopped short and hands on his shoulders forced the angel to look away from the pot.

“Aziraphale ?”

The angel inhaled brusquely.

“I thought I was dying, there.”

Long seconds of silence, then “I thought that too.”

“I am so sorry, Crowley. I am… I am sorry.”

“Hardly your fault. We were trying to save the kid. No need to...”

But the demon was cut short.

“No. Not about today. About… _that_ day.”

Crowley knew instantly _what day_ exactly.

“Angel...”

“I have to tell you. I can’t stand the idea of not telling you. I thought about it a lot, but I was not brave enough to confess it… I am sorry. I said things…. Horrible things. I lied so much, I said we weren’t friends, and that I didn’t like you. I hurt you terribly, and I want you to know I’m so...”

“For the love of… stop that, angel ! It's okay ! Why bring that up, t’was months ago ! We both said things we regret, let it go !”

Aziraphale grabbed his friend’s wrist desperately.

“But it’s not the same ! You were afraid and angry when you said it ! I… I knew I was hurting you. I did it anyway. I _wanted_ to hurt you.”

Crowley was already opening his mouth to deny the “afraid” part when the end of the sentence struck him.

“What ? Wha’dya mean, you wanted it ? Well, yeah, that’s the idea. ‘Tis called an argument.”

“I… did it on purpose. I wanted you to be mad, and hurt, and I wanted you to think I hated you. I wasn’t even angry, and I picked specifically the worst things to say _on purpose_.”

Crowley took his sunglasses off, blinking in confusion.

“Why ? Why on earth would you want to do THAT ?”

“It was the end of the world and you wanted me to go off with you !”

Crowley closed his eyes one second. NOT the time to find ANYTHING funny.

“Yeah. So ?”

“I couldn’t, Crowley !”

“Not really surprising me, here, angel. I know you’d never have agreed. I knew it then. Just was stupid enough to try. Doesn’t explain why you tried to have me think you hated… Oh...”

The sunglasses fell on the floor. Crowley pinched the bridge of his nose with a sigh, and looked at his angel tiredly.

“You wanted me to go to alpha Centauri alone, right ?”

Aziraphale was wriggling his hands.

“Yes… I thought it was hopeless, and I knew you would try again and again to convince me, and...”

Crowley raised his hand.

“Let me sum up : you knew I would try to convince you to run away”

The angel nodded.

“You knew there was no way you could abandon humanity.”

Nod.

“So you tried to push me away to save my skin.”

“I’m sor...”

“Why ? Why are you sorry exactly, Aziraphale ?”

The angel looked confused. So was Crowley, to be honest.

“But my dear, you would have been _miserable_ alone in the stars.”

“Yeah ?”

“And you would have had no one to talk to, and thought I hated you and didn’t care about you.”

“Uh-uh.”

“It was so selfish of me to try to do that !”

Crowley let out a sad little laugh, covering his eyes with one hand.

“There is nothing funny about that, Crowley ! Really, this is very serious !”

“Oh, angel. You’re the only being in the entire universe who would feel guilty about wanting to _save_ someone.”

“But...”

“No, no buts ! I did the same, stupid ! I tried to take you away with me, and if I’d tempted you enough, Earth would have been destroyed and you would be slowly dying of regrets. You’d be wretched, angel. You’d hate yourself for abandoning your duty.”

“I...”

“I know ! I thought about it too, _in retrospect_! We were both stupid, and it’s normal, angel ! It’s normal to want to protect the people you care about when you think the world is ending. It’s HUMAN, Aziraphale !”

The angel stared at his friend, gaping.

“So… you aren’t mad ?”

“Mad at you for trying to save me ? Not really, angel, sorry.”

“Oh.”

“And for what it’s worth, I always knew you were lying. Didn’t think THAT far about your reasons, but yeah, I knew it wasn’t true. Came back, remember ?”

“You did. I felt so guilty to have to reject you again...”

Crowley smiled one of his rare, genuine smiles.

“That was a lost cause, stupid. I’ll always come back.”

Aziraphale huffed.

“Well I should hope so ! And I promise to never try to save you again !”

“Good ! Next Armageddon, we stop it all or die together like in a gothic novel !”

The angel gasped in horror.

“Not a _gothic novel_ , Crowley !”

“Hunchback of Notre Dame, then.”

Aziraphale poured the water for his tea.

“They didn’t die together. Quasimodo’s death is lonely and awful.”

“Romeo and Juliet ?”

The angel started to stir milk and chocolate patiently, checking on the fire.

“Ugh. Neither of us would be stupid enough not to check vital signs.”

“True. Tristan and Isolde ?”

“They’d been drugged, Crowley ! It was NOT a choice, poor dears.”

“Fair enough. Titanic ?”

“NOT a book, and death was a mercy here. They would never have been happy together. And she lives.”

“Oh, come ON ! That’s a beautiful love story !”

“Only because he dies. It was kind of boring. And I don’t like the idea of the rich surviving the poor _again_.”

“Well, I’m out of ideas. Guess we’ll have to survive.”

Aziraphale forced the plate with the snacks on his friend’s hands and took the steaming mugs before heading to the stairs.

“I can live with that, my dear. Anyway, you’re only bringing up _romantic_ love story.”

“Tis the only ones humans invented for ‘dying together by choice’. Not my fault.”

“Poppycock ! I can think of a thousand ! You’re just an awfully big softy at heart.”

“Name one ! One story where they’re like us and die together, angel !”

“Why, I’m surprised you didn’t think of it. You love Modesty Blaise.”

“Well, duh. But they don’t _die_ , angel !”

Aziraphale froze.

“They don’t, I’ve read every comics, Aziraphale. They don’t die. That’s just stupid.”

The angel smiled nervously. Obviously his demon didn’t know about the books. They’d have to go to the “No Crowley shelf” right away.

“Of course they don’t. Silly me. Must have confused it with something else.”

Crowley nodded.

“You’re not into comic strips. Had it been a book, you wouldn’t forget.”

“That is perfectly true. Adam, dear, I made you cocoa. And a snack.”

The young Antichrist stirred and raised his head.

“Wicked ! Can Dog have a sandwich too ?”

“Of course, there is one for him too. He deserves it after fighting so well to help us.”

Dog was the happiest (and only) Hellhound on Earth, eating his sandwich in front of the fire while the three human shaped entities settled on the sofa and chairs to discuss strategy.

None of them seemed eager to talk about the last monster, though, and they sipped their drinks silently for a while. Crowley looked into the fire, Adam was staring at his last marshmallow, and Aziraphale tried to remember everything he knew about Leviathan.

Adam was the first to speak.

“So ? What do we do now ?”

Crowley raised an inquisitive eyebrow at the angel. Aziraphale cleared his throat.

“Now, my dears, we have to capture Leviathan’s worst enemy. Does any of you know anything about fishing ?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sooooo... realised I should tell you all where I found these three beasts...  
> I wanted the boys to fight a dangerous creature, and searched for monsters... and these three were coming together and were SO AWESOME for GO !!
> 
> In the book of Enoch, Behemoth lives "in an invisible desert east of the Garden of Eden"  
> EAST OF THE GARDEN OF EDEN ? I had to use that ! first I thought "he had to know Aziraphale if he was there !"  
> and then "Maybe he was there BECAUSE he knew Aziraphale and liked him !"^^
> 
> The Ziz, or Renanin, is "comparable to the Persian Simurgh"  
> After reading everything I could put my hands on about Renanin, I searched for Simurgh.  
> "It has an enmity towards SNAKES"  
> Say no more, Renanin and Simrugh are the same in my GO world, and Crowley will meet something that will awake the deepest terror he can experience...
> 
> No, I won't talk about Leviathan HERE^^


	7. The Lake and the Thread

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> To get rid of Leviathan, our boys must enter one of the most dangerous place on earth.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Of COURSE I added one chapter :D  
> Not my fault, the boys just couldn't stop talking....

The angel’s voice echoed in the bookshop’s backroom.

“Does any of you know anything about fishing ?”

Adam considered himself an expert about fishing (he considered himself an expert about almost anything, to be honest).

“My father likes it. Talks about it a lot. He receives a magazine every week.”

The boy considered a minute.

“You need a fishing rod.”

Aziraphale smiled sweetly while Crowley tried his best not to smirk.

“My dear, I am afraid the fish we are looking for will never get caught like that. We will need… an inside man, if I may say so...”

The angel sipped his tea, looking pointedly in the opposite direction Crowley sat. The demon spluttered.

“Ngk ! Wh… Ha… What ? Me ? You want _me_ to catch the fuckin’ Leviathan ?”

“For God’s sake, Crowley, do you really have to be that rude in Adam’s presence ?”

“He already KNOWS the word !”

Aziraphale slid a glance at their young charge.

“Yes, he does, thank you for reminding me that...”

Adam glared at Crowley's.

“Yes, thank you so much, uncle Crowley” he murmured.

Crowley grimaced.

“Errr… sorry ?”

The angel got up and headed for the shop.

“Anyway, all the informations I have are in these books. And no, Crowley, you will not have to catch Leviathan. You will have to catch a very harmless, tiny fish...”

Crowley squinted his eyes.

“Why do I have the feeling it won’t be as easy as you make it sound ?”

Aziraphale came back with a heavy book, and shot his friend an apologetic smile before handing it to him, already opened.

“It is… in quite a dangerous place.”

The demon looked. Then frowned.

“Lake Superior… A lake ? T’s a lake, angel, what’s dangerous there ?”

“Well, the waters are quite cold, for a start, and you...”

“I can take the cold ! I’m not _fragile_!”

Adam made a face and raised his mug to his lips, mumbling a word that sounded very much like _“snow fight”._

Crowley got on his feet, incensed.

“I’m not scared by cold water, angel ! Let’s go !”

“Wait just one little more minute, my dear. There is one more little, tiny detail you should know...”

“What now ?”

“There are… the three sisters...”

The angel looked so serious and concerned Crowley sat back.

“Okay. Who are they ?”

“Not _‘who’_ , per say… _‘what’_ would be a better word. They are… waves. Well, that’s one of their forms. I am not sure how many more they can take, but after all I have read about that particular place, I am certain there is something unnatural there… something...”

“Fishy ?” Provided Crowley with a wide grin.

“I would have say ‘ethereal’...”

Crowley recoiled in horror.

“What ? That’s **Holy** ? You want me to take a swim in a bloody _Holy_ lake ?”

The angel huffed, obviously insulted. Adam raised an eyebrow (he was getting good at that).

“Come on, uncle Crowley. Don’t be ridiculous, he would never ask you to swim in Holy water. Right uncle Z ?”

Aziraphale crossed his arms with an offended expression.

“It depends on the day...”

“Kay, ‘kay, no need to get grumpy, angel. Tell me about this ethereal sister… what am I suppose to catch ?”

Aziraphale stopped pouting, took a conspirational air and leaned in.

“This is where the stickleback lives !”

“The what ?” Asked Crowley and Adam in unison. The angel looked from one to another in dismay.

“The _stickleback_ ! You know ! You… don’t know ? The Fish ! The only fish that can scare Leviathan !”

“A tiny fish can scare that giant beast ? Come _on_ !”

“It is true ! It lives there, and it is immortal. You will know it when you see it, it is entirely silver. Real silver, I mean… you will have to catch it in something, it is heavenly and it may burn you...”

“Great. You’re making my day, there, Aziraphale… so it’s freezing cold and there are sentient waves and burning fishes in there. Anything else ?”

“Oh dear… maybe I should go myself.”

Crowley snorted.

“Yeah, right. You don’t see in the dark as good at me, and you’re lame at swimming.”

“I can swim perfectly when the circumstances call for it !”

“Not as good as me, I’m a snake ! Snakes swim !”

“I know that, dear, but… the cold… and… the Holiness… I should have thought of the Holiness before asking you to...”

“Just shut up. You can’t dive into a lake. You asked me to do it for a good reason, so stick to it.”

Aziraphale looked at the demon with an expression akin to fear. Did he know ? Did he guess ? How ? He had been so cautious about it ! He had developed a fright of dark and closed space since his “trial” in Hell, and up until now he thought he had hidden it well.

But Crowley was already talking about something else like nothing happened.

“So what happens when I’ve caught this thing ? We just throw it at Leviathan and he gets home ? That’s it ?”

“Yes, more or less… I hope.”

“You _hope_ ?”

“I have no idea ! I only know what I’ve read about it !”

Crowley looked at his friend, then at Adam, and swallowed the natural response that came to his lips. Sarcasm and complaints would only scare the angel further and have him try to do it himself. And he couldn’t let Aziraphale dive in the bottom of a freaking dark, freezing lake. He was not able to do that at the moment.

The demon smiled and stretched before rising.

“Seems easy. Let’s go, that should be fun.”

This was NOT fun at all.

Crowley was only _looking_ at the lake, and he already shivered inwardly. Why a stupid, giant, freezing lake ? Why ?

But Aziraphale’s anxious expression helped him keep his composure. The angel extended his hand and he took it, letting the familiar Grace course his body and envelope him in a thin layer of warmth. He smiled tensely and let go of his friend’s hand. The Grace didn’t fade, and he knew the angel was maintaining the connexion between them.

“Okay, I’m going in.”

“Oh, do be careful, my dear. The sisters may be very dangerous creatures… I intended to come and investigate about them someday… but I never found the time. I regret it now.”

“Never found the time, eh ? In several hundred years ?”

“Well… I had the bookshop to run...”

“You’re such a Mycroft, angel” declared the demon before taking his snake form, letting a spluttering and red faced Aziraphale behind. The angel didn’t consider Sherlock Holmes realistic literature ( _there are a lot of reasons a man can have a spot of ink on his index finger, Crowley ! Deduction has limits ! Limits !_ ). It was always very funny to make him watch a new adaption, and flames, there were so many of them the demon had had a lot of fun already. He was actively working on influencing Hollywood to make a new movie just to see Aziraphale lose it. Last time, he hadn’t stood more than half an hour before exploding the television involuntarily.

The Principality and the Antichrist stayed away from the shore, watching the water closing on their demon.

“So… now we… wait ?”

Aziraphale sighed, sat on the grass and focused on the Grace he’d linked to Crowley, keeping it warm as much as possible.

“Now we wait, my dear boy.”

Adam Looked at him, examining the link of Grace that shone in the ethereal plane like a thread of silk, going from the angel to the surface of the lake where it disappeared in the depth.

“How do you do it ? I wish I could help… But I don’t know how.”

The angel smiled serenely.

“This is very difficult, and demands perfect precision and control, Adam. You are not used enough to your powers to do it.”

The child made a face.

“Doesn’t seems difficult to you. And I’m more…” he stopped mid sentence, not wanting to offend his favourite angel.

“You are much more powerful than I am, that is a fact. But that is the thing, my dear. You are so strong that miracles like this are extremely difficult for you. I think creating warm blankets of demonic energy to the entire humanity would be easier to you.”

“Uh. I see, I think.”

“And, of course, there is the matter of trust. I couldn’t do this if Crowley hadn’t let me have access to his core.”

“You mean… like the thing you did to me earlier ?”

Aziraphale almost lost his hold on the thread of Grace.

“Oh, Adam, I am so sorry about that. I didn’t intend to...”

“No, t’s’alright ! Really, uncle Z, don’t make that face. You were saving me. I just… I wanted to apologise about that.”

“About… what ? You didn’t do anything wrong, dear.”

“I doubted you. I really thought you were trying to hurt me. M’sorry.”

The angel looked at his godson with a soft smile.

“I know, Adam. I know how you feel, I have felt it too, countless times. It was alright to doubt, the way I acted didn’t leave any room for trust. I understand, and it changes nothing to the love I have for you. I am very grateful you returned your faith to me.”

The child nodded with relief and started patting Dog awkwardly. Aziraphale raised his eyes and smiled at the sky.

Then his smile faded abruptly. The thread was weakening. He jumped to his feet and ran to the shore, ordering Adam to stay away.

The link was getting weaker by the second. Something was attacking it. He kneeled, extended his hand, and touched the water…

His eyes widened in horror at the vision that suddenly jumped into his mind. Cold, dark, fearsome place, bodies, hundreds of them, frozen forever in time, as fresh as the day they’d reached the bottom of the terrible entity that lived here…

“Uncle Z ! Uncle Aziraphale !”

He snapped out of his trance at the sensation of hands on his shoulders.

“Come back ! Come back here ! Get out of it !” Yelled the Antichrist. And Aziraphale felt the Pull that the child was using to bring him back. The link of Grace was long broken.

“Dear Lord” murmured the angel desperately. “There is no creature in the lake. The lake _is_ the creature !”


	8. The Fish and the Bucket

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Catching a small fish turned out to be much more difficult than anticipated.  
> Aziraphale has lost his link with Crowley. Is his demon all right ?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you'll enjoy that chapter. I tried to make it a little less angsty and a little more funny than the others.

_The lake is the monster…_

Aziraphale fought an urge to jerk away from the hands that were touching him. Fear wasn’t easing his distaste for contact.

 _It’s Adam. It’s only Adam._ But his godson had felt his shoulder tense the instant the angel’s mind had gotten back to his corporation and knew him enough to let go and pull away, looking at him with fear in his eyes.

“What is happening ? Where is uncle Crowley ?”

Aziraphale clumsily got back to his feet, staring at the dark waters.

 _Crowley…_ _Oh, dear God, Crowley !_

He still felt the lake’s horrible hunger and wrath. Nothing could survive _th_ _is_ _._

_No... no, not that !_ _Not like that ! It can’t be !_

An arm snaked his way around his shoulder, and he didn’t pay attention to it, focused on the water's surface, scanning desperately in hope of a tuft of fiery hair or the shimmering of dark scales…

“And here lies the bravest and hottest of all Hell’s demons… destroyed in the prime of life fighting a monster no one could kill… and his name was...”

Aziraphale raised his head, looking straight ahead. There was _an arm_ around his shoulder, and someone standing at his side, so close he could touch him. It didn’t bother him at all. Slowly, he turned his head to his left.

Crowley grinned, lowering his glasses to give maximum effect to his eyebrow raised in expectation.

“You’re supposed to say my name there, angel.”

“Crowley !”

“That’s it. A little late but that’ll do.”

Aziraphale looked back at the lake, then at his friend.

“But… but you… how…”

“Oh, everything went fine until I caught that bloody fish. Then I had to get out real quick. Always been good at escaping, me...”

The angel closed his eyes. He could feel Crowley’s exhaustion behind all that bravado.

“Crowley… once we are back home, I will _kill_ you !”

“Whatever you say, angel. Hey, look at my catch.”

The demon waved to the side and there was Adam, smiling brightly, holding…

“You put it in a plastic bag ?”

“Well, yeah, that’s the first thing that came to my mind.”

“We are not in a fair, Crowley !”

A tartan bucket appeared, full of water, and the boy dropped the tiny, silver fish in it.

All three of them looked at it, turning round and round.

“It _is_ Holy…” murmured Aziraphale. “So much so… no wonder the water became sentient after 6000 years sheltering this… and the fish is incapable of taking care of the lake’s sanity. It’s gotten mad, in every way.”

“Cute story, angel. Remind me never to buy property in the neighbourhood. What now ? What should we do with it ?”

“I guess we have to… lead the monster here, and... make him eat it ?”

“Please tell me you have another plan. Got your sword ?”

“Leviathan is impervious to Heavenly weapons. Only God or that fish can hurt him.”

“And we have to put it in his mouth ?”

“I guess so… several Holy scriptures describes Leviathan as eating every fish of the sea except this one that he fears… so having him eat it should do the trick. Why else could he be afraid ? That little thing can not _fight_ him, right ? Maybe it will make him weak and I will be able to send him back to the other world…”

Crowley looked at the bucket skeptically.

“Ookayyy… and how do we lure the monster here ? It’s a _lake_ , in case you didn’t notice.

“Leviathan can teleport on any body water that is big enough, so we do not need to move. Just to attract him.”

Crowley looked at the tiny silver fish, opened his mouth, closed it again and raised his hands in defeat.

“All right. How ?”

“I was thinking of… a net ? A very big one. If I could twine enough strands of Grace somewhere, it may hold him long enough for us to act.”

Crowley gaped at him.

“Satan, Aziraphale. You realise how much Grace you’ll need for that ?”

“I still have access to Heaven’s spring. That should be enough. And then… Adam could lure him into it.”

Both turned to their godson. He didn’t seem to be listening, fascinated by the fish, Dog sleeping at his side.

“Okay. Let’s do this, angel.”

It took almost two hours before the trap was ready. They had found a little bay that looked perfect for setting the net of Grace. A small demonic miracle sent every human in the vicinity far away, and the angel could start his work.

The net had to block the bay entirely, so Leviathan could not avoid it to get to Adam.

As the sun started to set, Aziraphale was feeling very sleepy, which always was the sign of too many miracles in a row. His corporation couldn’t keep up. He had felt his access to Heaven weaken a little while ago. Now it was gone. Well, that was only natural, the Host couldn’t lend him all that power forever. He was probably not the only weary angel at the moment. He looked at his demon, who was hovering gloomily over the bucket, hands in his pockets.

If Hell decided to attack Heaven now, the battle would be quite unequal. Well… better not to think about it at the moment.

“It’s ready, my dears.”

Crowley’s head shot up, his lips tightening at the angel’s word choice. He knew Aziraphale only used contractions when he was dangerously fatigued.

“Kay. So, last rehearsal. Adam, you stand there, not too close to the shore, but close enough for him to see you. The angel and I stay hidden behind these rocks with the bucket.

You release your power, he will feel it and come to kill you. He’ll get caught in the net and be hurt by Aziraphale’s Grace if we’re lucky. That will buy us a few seconds. I toss the fish in his mouth, he’s poisoned or whatever this freakin’ fish does to him, and Aziraphale opens a gate through the worlds to send him back to his home. Questions ?”

Adam looked up. It was way past his bedtime, and he was hungry and grumpy.

“Yeah. How can we know it will work ? Seems to me there’s a lot of things that could go wrong… is the net strong enough to hold him ? Will the fish be bad enough for the monster to stop ? Can uncle Aziraphale send him back if he’s still strong enough to fight ?”

Crowley gritted his teeth.

“Don’t know. Got any better ideas ? Or one _single_ better idea ?”

Adam made a face.

“Right. So, let’s start. Adam, go to the spot we talked about and do your thing. Do NOT get too close to the shore, remember ?”

“I’m not _stupid_ , uncle Crowley. You told me six times already.”

Aziraphale huffed.

“Stop arguing, you two. Adam, dear, please take your place.”

A grumpy Antichrist shuffled away.

“He needs to rest, poor boy.”

“He’s a teen. that’s normal behaviour, don’t sweat.”

Adam stopped at the exact spot a giant cross had been drawn, and raised his hands with a flourish like a very bad magician in a low grade Las Vegas show.

“Oh, dear. I have a bad feeling about this.”

“He’s got more style than you. That’s sad.”

“Just shut up, please.”

Waves of power started radiating from the boy, coursing through the ether at an impossible speed.

Far away, at the other end of the world, Leviathan felt it and roared under water.

Crowley watched in awe as their Godson unleashed his power, darkening the sky more efficiently than a full eclipse.

“Well, he’s hard to miss _now_. Could have been useful if he’d done that on Armageddon.”

“Crowley”

“Hm ?” The demon stared at his friend and frowned, suddenly serious. “Is he coming ?”

“He is. And he is not very happy.”

Water started to bubble at the surface of the lake as something big appeared at the bottom of it. The water level rose suddenly. Crowley grabbed the bucket.

“I’ll take care of it. Get ready to open a portal.”

The monster finally burst out, his gigantic head a dirty green, his bulging eyes all white, his fangs so monstrous he couldn’t even close his mouth entirely. And the smell… a foul, sickening odour. Crowley, used to Hell’s horrific displays, recoiled with a wince.

“What the… fuck ! _That’s_ Her favourite ? That’s Her little pet ? That’s without contest the ugliest thing I’ve ever seen, angel, and I’ve seen a _LOT_.”

“Come on, Crowley, you are exaggerating as always” answered his friend calmly, watching as the Leviathan slowly turned on himself to spot Adam. “He is quite cute.”

“Yeah, right” snorted the demon. “Lying’s a sin, you know. You can admit Her poodle is ugly, She won’t smite you for telling the truth.”

Aziraphale frowned, and shuffled uneasily as the beast started swimming towards the trap.

“If anyone is lying here, it isn’t me. You have to reckon that he is quite darling, for a monster.”

“Darling ? _Darling_ , angel ? It’s… it’s a freakin’...”

Crowley stopped mid sentence. Aziraphale wasn’t lying. He believed every word he just said.

“Oh, _shit_. You really think it ! You really think that horror is _darling_ !”

Aziraphale _gasped_.

“ADAM !” yelled both entities in unison.

“Come back here, Adam !”

“Don’t stay there, kid ! Quick !”

The child appeared suddenly between them. Leviathan stopped only a few feet from the trap and turned again.

“Thank the Almighty” murmured the angel.

“What’s wrong ? Why did you call me ? We almost got him !”

Crowley’s mouth set in a firm line.

“We can’t hurt him. It’s… not right.”

“What ? Why ?”

Adam was very cross that their awesome plan was suddenly abandoned that easily.

“The angel thinks he’s cute. Only means one thing.”

Blue eyes looked at Aziraphale questioningly.

“Leviathan is a baby, my dear.”

Crowley mouthed a string of profanity that Aziraphale couldn’t really reproach him for. They couldn’t hurt a _baby_. No wonder Leviathan was God’s favourite.

_Oh… damn. What can we do now ? We cannot poison him with a fish that will hurt him !_

The monster was heading towards them, his mouth opening even larger, a strange and frightful sound escaping his mouth, his eyes starting to glow heavenly light. Crowley felt his skin start to prickle. He was used to Aziraphale’s Grace, and could resist it pretty well. Facing Grace from anyone else could mean instant discorporation. And that thing was way more powerful than any angel, baby or not.

“What do we do _now_ , angel ?”

“Me ? You are asking _me_ ? I don’t know, Crowley ! We can not use the fish _now_ !”

Adam grabbed the bucket and threw it in the lake. Both uncles gaped at him.

“Whot did you do ? D’you know how difficult it was to CATCH that thing ?”

“You said we weren’t using it. Better to set him free then. No ?”

“But… but it may hurt the...”

Aziraphale looked back at the lake. The very, very calm lake.

Leviathan was standing still, almost sheepishly, and grunted in a friendly way. A spark of light shone briefly just in front of his face, and he followed it, mesmerized. The silver fish was circling the baby monster, like it was checking on him. Then it came to his head again and Leviathan let out a little squeal that seemed like a question.

The silver fish suddenly dived, and the monster followed it towards the bottom of the lake. Aziraphale summoned whatever Grace he had left and opened a passage just ahead of them. The fish got directly through it, followed by the baby. The portal closed behind them.

Crowley’s face was as red as his hair.

“You telling me that all this time… the fish was his _nanny_ ? God created a BABY MONSTER and a FISH NANNY to watch after him, then she separated them for 6 fucking thousand years ?”

He pointed at the dark waters, his finger trembling.

“I’ve _dived_ in that freakin’ lake, almost died of cold, been pursued by freakin’ _zombies_ , and was nearly smitten by a giant baby dinosaur-fish, all that for nothing ? We just had to ask Adam to lure him here and let the nanny do the job, and that was it ? THAT WAS IT ?”

The angel sent him an apologetic and slightly nervous smile that did nothing to calm the demon’s ire. He opened his mouth, raising a finger.

Crowley glared at him.

“What could you possibly say in your defence, Aziraphale ? I’m really curious ! Come on, speak ! And I swear to Satan that if you so much as think of the word _ineffable_ , I’ll sell all of your prophecy books !”

Aziraphale blinked, closed his mouth. Crowley crossed his arms and raised an eyebrow. The angel looked at Adam who seemed to have the time of his life. Dog cocked his head, obviously waiting too.

“Erm… All’s well that ends well ?” Provided the angel in a very nervous voice.

Strangely, the soothing sentence didn’t seem to work.

At all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The boys will finally be able to go home and REST !  
> At least that's the plan...


	9. The Lady and the Feather

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The boys are going home. But will they be able to rest ?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's done, and I am so happy !  
> I hope you will like the end of this adventure !

“Can we go home now ?”

Aziraphale blinked and took a second before turning to a very tired little Antichrist.

“Oh, dear… you are exhausted, my poor boy...”

“I’m not ! It’s not late !”

Adam waved at the sunset.

“We are in America, Adam. In England it must be…”

The angel gasped, his eyes widening in shock.

“Oh Adam, your poor parents ! You didn’t come back yesterday evening, they must be terrified !”

“Oi, calm down angel...”

“How can you say that, Crowley ! They must have called the police ! What can we do ?”

“It’s okay, stop fretting, we...”

But the demon was cut off again. You weren’t a 6000 year old bookworm without a vivid imagination and a flair for dramatics. Aziraphale was seeing exactly what was about to happen, and it seemed like nothing could stop the deluge of words that poured out of him as his panic rose.

“They will forbid him to go out ever again ! Whatever the excuse we give him, they will be either angry or very frightened. Adam, oh, I am so sorry, I think we will have to erase your parent’s memory. I do not like the idea more than you do but...”

“CAN’T YOU JUST **SHUT UP** AZIRAPHALE ?”

The angel closed his mouth and looked at his friend in shock. Crowley seemed as bewildered as him. A long silence stretched before the demon shuffled his feet uncomfortably. He was almost certain there was some hurt in the angel’s eyes.

“I mean… can you please let me talk. T’s what I meant.”

Aziraphale didn’t utter a word, waiting patiently for Crowley to talk. His eyes were becoming way too blue for the demon’s peace of mind, and his mouth was pressed in a firm line now.

_Oh, bless, he is **angry**._

“Er, I called Adam’s parents when we were in the bookshop. Arranged everything. He’s supposed to sleep over, We’ll get him home on Sunday.”

Aziraphale did not say “tomorrow is a school day”. He did not say it _very_ expressively.

“His school is closed for the day...” the demon tried to explain, his words dying as he tried to assess how many chocolates he would need to get out of his predicament.

“Gas leak” provided Adam, always obliging.

“Oh, perfect then. You will have to explain to me how Deirdre and Arthur could possibly have agreed to let us take Adam unexpectedly without even the slightest notice. I am sure it is hilarious. Why don’t we get back home, then ?” chirped Aziraphale with that way-too-bright smile Crowley feared more than Holy water.

“Angel...”

Aziraphale, ignoring his demon’s eyes, pointed at the bay and disappeared in the blink of an eye. Adam looked at his uncle.

“Oh. Yeah. We’ve got to get rid of the trap...” murmured the demon absent-mindedly.

“It’s gonna be okay, uncle Crowley. I yell at Pepper all the time and we always make up.”

Crowley couldn’t repress a tight smile.

“You yell at Pepper ? Really ?”

“Okay, I did it just once” reckoned the boy reluctantly. He hesitated, then added “She bit me.”

“That’s more credible. That girl is awesome in every sense of the term.”

“You should go ahead and make up with Uncle Z. I’ll wait here.”

“No way, you stupid kid. I’m not leaving you near a scary sentient lake. _Even_ with a Hellhound” added the demon as Dog barked in offence.

“Come on, let’s get home. I’ll make some tea. That should smooth down his feathers a tad.”

“You yelled _really_ loud, you know.”

“Yeah, yeah, I know ! Rub it in, will you ?”

Adam patted his uncle’s hand comfortingly.

“Maybe he won’t bite you.”

Crowley looked at the horizon gloomily, remembering every other occasion Aziraphale had displayed _that_ smile. Usually, he wasn’t the recipient of it. It had only happened twice before. _Not_ good memories.

“Believe me, he can do way worse than that.”

“Aw, come on, Uncle Crowley ! I’m sure it won’t be that bad !”

“You only say that ‘cause he’s not angry at _you_ ” accused the demon.

Adam hid his smile as best he could. His uncle ruffled his hair affectionately.

“Come on, Great Beast that is called Dragon, let’s get rid of that freakin’ net.”

Adam always liked when Crowley called him names. His favourite was Destroyer of Kings. Such a _cool_ name.

“It will take _hours_ , uncle Crowley.”

“Naah, don’t you worry. T’s like everything. Hard to create, easy to destroy. Exactly like life !”

The demon suddenly remembered he was talking to a _human_ _child_.

“I mean… errr… let’s get to work, shall we ?”

Adam nodded enthusiastically. Destroying was always so much fun !

Crowley had seen his fair share of offended angel and knew he was in for the silent treatment. So his surprise was total when he appeared in the bookshop to be confronted to a fuming Aziraphale that was the opposite of silent.

“ _What_ is _that_ , Crowley ?”

The demon stared at the bunch of paper waving menacingly under his nose and stepped back in despair.

“What’s what ? What did I do ?”

“You sent it ! You sent it to an _editor_ behind my back ! Why did you do this ?”

Crowley raised his hands.

“I didn’t send anything to anyone, I swear ! What are you talking about ?”

“My manuscript ! It wasn’t supposed to be read ! And it has been rejected !Why did you do this ? Was it one of your games ? How could you be so _cruel_ , Crowley ? You must have read it, you know it isn’t good !”

Both Crowley and Adam responded at once.

“I’m _not_ cruel ! I’m _never_ cruel !”

“What ? They refused your book ? But it was so wicked !”

Both his uncles looked at Adam in confusion.

“You… you did this ?” finally asked the angel.

“Book ? You wrote a BOOK ? Angel, why didn’t you tell me ? I want to read it !”

“Absolutely not. You are already laughing.”

“M’not. I swear, I won’t laugh” promised the demon, trying to look like he believed it.

Aziraphale chose to ignore him.

“Adam, why did you sent it ?”

“Uncle Crowley said it was good ! I thought I had to help you, you know... to get published and rich and famous.”

“Oi, you little liar ! I’ve never read that bloody book, I would remember ! I swear I didn’t, angel !”

“You were crying, even” accused the boy.

“Oh” murmured the angel, finally remembering Adam’s last visit, him telling Adam he was writing a book, and Crowley weeping over a particular tome that very same day. “I wish I had written Little Women, unfortunately that is not the case. Adam, this was not my book Crowley was reading.”

He suddenly seemed to emerge from a dream and looked at his pocket watch.

“Well, never mind, dear. You should go to bed straight away. It is almost morning”

Adam was only too glad to escape punishment for his meddling. He got to bed without a murmur for the first time in his existence, not even complaining at Aziraphale’s rules of brushing teeth for three “real” minutes or his sixth checking on his essence (still perfectly sound).

“I’m alright, really, uncle Aziraphale. I’m fine” murmured the Antichrist, already falling asleep under way too many tartan blankets “Thank you” he added in a blurry voice.

“What for, dear ?”

“Saving me... duh.”

Aziraphale let out a chuckle.

“You are most welcome. Sleep well, Adam.”

Aziraphale knew the rest of the night would be awkward if he didn’t act immediately. Crowley had seen him very angry, and would assume he still was. But it wasn’t truly the demon’s fault if he had yelled. This awful day had been so dangerous and scary, they both had very good reasons to be on edge.

And he didn’t want to vent out on the poor boy. So he’d came home first and done _something_ to get rid of his anger before Crowley and Adam’s return. He felt way better now. Discovering the editor’s letter had been a bit of a shock, but it was nothing compared to the rest of the day.

Crowley was waiting in the back room, sitting straight (a frightening vision), his body strained as a fiddle string.

Well, that wouldn’t do. Aziraphale walked in, and the demon’s eyes shot to him wildly.

“Angel, I’m sorr...”

“What about a nightcap, my dear ?”

“Ngk, Whot ?”

“I think a bottle of wine would do nicely after such a day. Don’t you ?”

Crowley looked closely at his friend, searching for any sign of a trick (of course the angel would never do that, it wasn’t like him… but… just to be sure). Aziraphale seemed calm. His eyes were clear and there was the usual affectionate spark. This was… unexpected. Good unexpected. Whatever had brought this change of mind, he would certainly go with the flow.

“Ah…uh… yes, yes I totally do.”

He sat sheepishly on his couch, looking as the angel snapped his fingers to summon a bottle from the kitchen. Aziraphale poured them a glass each.

“To surviving this day” he announced seriously.

“To surviving this fuckin’ day” agreed the demon, earning a (slightly) stern look in response.

Crowley drank his glass in one gulp, still not believing his luck, while Aziraphale took a sip before tilting his head questioningly.

“Now tell me, my dear. How did you convince Adam’s parents to let him stay here tonight ?”

“Easy as pie, angel. Talked to Deirdre on the phone, said I wanted to surprise you for your birthday and you’d like to have Adam with us at the restaurant. Promised I would bring him back right after dinner, cause there was school tomorrow… she said the school was closed...”

“How strange” murmured the angel.

“… I know, what a coincidence, right ? Then I offer to keep him for the night and bring him back at the end of week-end. She said yes.”

The angel looked skeptical.

“Hey, I’m good at convincing people, angel.”

“That you are”, agreed Aziraphale, closing his eyes with a deep sigh and letting his head go on the back of his armchair. The demon eyed him with concern. He knew Aziraphale wasn’t badly hurt. His Grace was low, but that wasn’t a real danger. His essence had taken a beating, that was more of a problem, but nothing time couldn’t heal. Anyway, it had been a real shitty day. Crowley knew he had got the easy part (yeah, even with the zombies), and _he_ felt exhausted.

“You should try to sleep, angel. Honest, you look like shit.”

Aziraphale smiled, eyes still closed.

“I think I may, dear boy...”

The demon put his glass down and got up to take Aziraphale’s before it fell from his loosening grip. He slowly reached to the angel’s forehead, barely touching it.

“Rest, Aziraphale.”

The angel didn’t even stir under the subtle rush of demonic power. It was too familiar for him to take notice, and he trusted it too much to resist.

Good. Crowley wanted nothing more than an entire month of sleep, but he had something to do first. There wouldn’t be such an opportunity in a while. Not with a washed out angel to keep an eye on. But this night, he had no qualms about leaving the bookshop for the night. Not with a Hellhound and an Antichrist upstairs. Good luck to the demon that would try to get in.

Crowley took his jacket and got out, whistling his favourite aria. _Der Hölle Rache kocht in meinem Herzen_ … he thought with a large, sharky grin.

How fitting. He’d always been fond of the Queen of the Night from the Magic Flute. Sarastro was the real evil in this story, in Crowley’s opinion. The only person he knew that hated that character more than he did was Aziraphale (and that told a lot). The angel’s reaction to his first watching of the opera had been epic.

“ _Pamina must be guided by a MAN ? She can not return to her mother because she must be **guided by a man** ? Crowley, this is kidnapping ! The poor girl is being brainwashed ! We should stop that dreadful play at once!”_

. Inviting him to this opera was always a delight. He should bring Pepper too, next time. They would probably put the theatre on fire.

The Bentley’s door unlocked as he neared it.

“Hey, baby. Time to go visit some friends. First, the nice lady that paid to get the angel’s mouse killed. Then the killer. And _then_ , I will have to put my hand on that book, love, cause I have to read _that_ !”

The Bentley had no idea what was going on exactly, but it was Revenge Night, she could feel it. Revenge Night meant someone had hurt Father or the angel. And she was not happy about any of these reasons. Her usual soft purr turned to a frightening roar and Father crooned.

“That’s my girl. Let’s destroy some miscreants. It’s Revenge Night !”

Ha ! She’d guessed right ! Someone would suffer tonight !

Ten minutes (and twenty one miles) later, they were both staring at emptiness.

 _There should be a mansion here_ , thought Crowley as he lighted a cigarette, looking distractedly at the big hole in the ground. He could see some tiles. There had been at least a roof.

A loud wail was providing a delightful background. There was TV reporters and firemen and the commotion was warming Crowley’s demonic heart.

“So, what you are saying is that someone deliberatelycrushed your house to the ground, not an earthquake, Mrs Gibsy ?” asked a very tall and very stern policeman to the wailing lady.

“It was not someone ! It was a demon ! His eyes were not human, they were shining ! and he… he was so _evil_ ! He raised his hand and he destroyed my house ! I lost everything !”

Crowley’s eyes caught a flicker of white under one of the broken tiles. A snap of his fingers conjured in his hand a very shiny, totally undemonic feather. He pocketed it with a wry smile.

The woman was still yelling at the impassive police officer.

“Listen, I know his name ! I have his address !”

“Was anyone in the house, Mrs Gibsy ?” the policeman looked tired. Crowley felt some sympathy.

“No, my husband and daughter were out.”

“No servants ?”

The woman waved.

“Oh, yes, we have some. I do not know where they are.”

Crowley threw his cigarette in the hole. No servants were in there when it all collapsed, he was sure of that. He stretched and got back to his car.

His Bentley seemed disappointed.

“Sorry, love. No vengeance tonight. Someone got here first. That’s alright. Why don’t we go home and sleep for a week, eh ?”

Bentley obediently drove away. Father was tired. Sleeping was a strange thing that made him better again, and he needed to be to the bookshop to do that.

The demon looked at the road, a wide smile on his lips.

_I knew he was angry. Flames, angel, wrath is not simply a word to you._

No need to go see the killer. He was pretty sure he’d lost all his material possessions also.

Aziraphale was always thorough.


	10. Epilogue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I had some things to add that I forgot^^

Deirdre Young liked having guests, and these two were her favourite. She didn’t remember exactly where she had met her son’s godfathers. She was pretty sure they were somewhere from her husband’s side of the family. And of course, they hadn’t seen them for years after the christening… they may have been out of the country…

She shook her head, her mind slipping away from those questions like water off a duck. Never mind, they were here now, that was the important thing. And it was that nice Mr Aziraphale’s birthday ! She had made an apple cake, and the fair haired bookseller seemed to enjoy it immensely. He’d already eaten four portions. Adam himself had eaten two, and was aiming at a third. She didn’t dare tell him to stop, not with Mr Aziraphale cutting himself a fifth one. It would be rude. She really hoped Adam wouldn’t be sick. She caught her son’s eyes and frowned, silently conveying that this was the _last_ slice.

Mr Crowley was sprawled on the sofa, yawning so hard it seemed his jaw unhinged (but of course it was impossible), and even with his glasses on, she could tell he was fighting sleep. Poor dear. He must have worked so hard to surprise his husband for his birthday. Adam had said the restaurant was “wicked” which was the best compliment he could give.

Once again, Crowley yawned. Mr Aziraphale frowned at him.

“You should take some cake, my dear. Sugar will help you stay awake.”

“M’not hungry, angel.”

Mr Aziraphale expression clouded a little more.

“Crowley, dear, our friend _made_ this cake for _us_. You _really_ should eat some. It will do you good.”

“Nah, thank you, I’ll pass.”

Deirdre started fretting. Mr Crowley was such a nice man… but sometimes she wondered if he wasn’t a little oblivious. Every married person in the room (that being her and Arthur) was eyeing the red haired man in apprehension. That was so not the good answer to give your partner when he talked to you with that tone… and Mr Crowley hadn’t even raised his eyes from his phone. Oh, dear...

“Crowley...” this time, Mr Aziraphale’s voice was low enough to be called a growl, and his husband looked up from his phone. Deirdre held her breath.

“Yes, angel ?”

The white-haired man sighed.

“You will have to sleep on the couch for at least a week when we come back home, my dear.”

Mister Crowley froze on the spot. He must have realised his error. He made a face, and for a moment it almost looked like a smile (but of course it couldn’t be, not with his husband so angry at him).

“A week ? Really ? Come on, angel !” he whined.

But his partner wasn’t swayed.

“At least. It is for your own good.”

Deirdre had to intervene. She could not let them argue over her cake. And it was such a joyous occasion…

“Oh, mister Aziraphale… I am sure mister Crowley is merely fatigued…”

“Of course he is, he is exhausted, poor dear. That is why he needs to rest.”

Deirdre blinked in surprise.

“Do you mean… you want him to sleep on the couch… to rest ?”

Mister Aziraphale looked at her, all innocence.

“Why of course, he would never be able to rest elsewhere.”

 _Oh dear_ , thought a blushing Mrs Young, while Arthur choked on his tea. Mister Crowley got up brusquely to go to the window, lips tightened firmly. He must have been very embarrassed.

She offered more tea in a rush, to change subject, and everyone accepted. Aziraphale drank calmly, making light conversation with Arthur, who had recovered from his earlier cough, and Crowley sat back like nothing untoward had happened, but there was a little smile on his lips. These two really were adorable, thought Deirdre Young, her soft heart melting.

Adam calmly finished his fourth slice of cake. You could always count on uncle Aziraphale to provide occasions for eating more sweets, even unwillingly.

They were on the ride home when Crowley let out a chuckle.

“What is it, my dear ?” asked Aziraphale, smiling, ready to take part on the joke.

“Oh, nothing, angel. You telling me to sleep on the couch… that was... nice of you.”

“Oh. Well you have to rest, and sleeping always does you good, even if you do not need it, per se.”

Crowley nodded frantically, trying very hard not to laugh as he replayed Aziraphale’s conversation with Adam’s mother.

“You’re right, you’re right. Very thoughtful of you.”

“Thank you, dear. I really do not like to see you so tired.”

Suddenly Crowley didn’t want to laugh that much. That stupid angel was way too caring, it was difficult to make fun of him in these conditions.

He cleared his throat before asking gruffly “What about you ? How do you feel today ? You used _a lot_ of Grace.”

“I am quite fine, actually. Nothing tea and books won’t help restore.”

“Good. We will both stay in and keep the shop closed for a while, right ?”

The angel sighed contentedly.

“That sounds like a delightful idea…”

The end of the trip was made in companionable silence, Queen playing, Crowley enjoying the speed, and Aziraphale humming with the music.

That good mood didn’t last when Crowley opened the door to the bookshop and saw the envelope.

He let out such a string of insults Aziraphale gasped and pushed him away to see what was happening.

“Oh… this is...”

It was obviously a letter from Heaven. That particular white was way too pristine, the golden filigree too shiny…

“Let’s burn it” offered Crowley.

“Now, dear, that would not be proper. Let us see what she has to say.”

The angel opened the envelope and started reading the small letter it contained. He frowned, then read it again.

Crowley huffed and took it from his grasp.

“What is she saying ?”

He deciphered the neat writing, and looked at his friend with wide eyes.

“You kidding me ? She wants you to take on all the dirty work !”

The angel eyed him calmly.

“That is not what she says. She wants me to consider some missions on earth. Like what we did yesterday. Things that could potentially threaten humanity.”

“Dirty work” declared Crowley, deadpan.

“Consultant job. _And_ I can refuse any of it. She will just sent some missions she thinks we are better placed to handle. You have to admit we know humanity best than any angel. They would butcher half of it.”

“Wait. _We_ ? Really ? _We,_ angel ? Does she wants me to be her minion too ?” growled Crowley, scanning the letter again.

Aziraphale deflated.

“Oh. No, she did not. I mean… I thought maybe you would have wanted to… but I didn’t realised it would be Heavenly work. Forget about it, it was silly of me.”

“Wh… What ? No ! Of course I’ll help ! I didn’t mean I…” Crowley pinched his nose “I’ll help you fight any monsters that dare come here, angel.”

Aziraphale smiled fondly.

“That is very sweet of you, Crowley.”

“Ugh. Do you have to be so insulting ? Anyway, we invested a lot on earth. M’not gonna let anything destroy it without lifting a finger.”

“My opinion exactly. I will answer her right away, and tell her we are a team. It is both of us or neither.”

“She won’t be happy. She hates me.”

“Well maybe if you hadn’t told her you were responsible for the Great Plague...”

“I didn’t tell her that ! Just received the commendation. I don’t know why they thought I had anything to do with it !”

“But the Plague is the reason she isn’t allowed on earth any more… and she thinks you created it.”

“I didn’t ask her to heal all those people. She was the one shooting miracles like a crazy desperado in a spaghetti western movie !”

Aziraphale adjusted his cufflinks.

“She is a healer, Crowley. She has… difficulties not helping people. Anyway, I will answer her that, and the decision will be hers.”

The angel penned an answer and sent it by snapping his fingers before raising an expectant eyebrow at his friend.

“Well… now all that wretched adventure is behind us… maybe you should give it to me now ?”

Crowley looked at him over his sunglasses for a few seconds, fighting the urge to answer _“That’s very flattering, angel, but I prefer to stay friends”_. After such a day, he didn’t want to make fun of Aziraphale.

“Give… what ?”

“Why, my gift, of course.” answered the angel patiently.

“Gift ? Whot gift ?”

“My dear… are you telling me you forgot ? This is my birthday.”

The demon eyed his friend for long seconds, before slowly raising his hand and snapping his fingers.

A crate of bottles appeared at their feet.

“St Emilion, angel. Only the best. Happy birthday”.

Aziraphale wriggled in delight.

“Oh, my dear… you shouldn’t have !”

He took the crate in his arms and headed to the backroom, Crowley following close.

The angel put the crate on the coffee table and a bottle opener appeared in his hand.

“If I have learned one thing about human’s customs, my dear, it is that a present has to be opened as soon as it is given. It would be rude not to.”

Crowley smiled.

“Well… it’s a crate of six. Don’t be rude about any of them, angel.”

“I will not. It is my duty. But I may need you to lend a hand.”

“Always glad to help, angel” answered the demon, conjuring two glasses into existence.


End file.
